USING MY GOD GIVEN INFLUENCE FOR GREAT!

Answering my questions from my previous post I thought I'd start with the first one: If you have put your husband's acceptance of you over your identity as a child of God, then how will you ever influence him for the better? This has been key to my growth through this Sacred Influence journey. When I have purposefully made my relationship with God a priority I have found that it's easier to focus on my husband in a positive light. It's when I am consumed with the world that I am no longer influencing him for good - mainly because I am filling myself with things that are insignificant and not glorifying to God. 

I must however give credit where credit is due - because it is not only God that has transformed me into the woman I am today, you see, before I turned my life over to God, the Lord had begun the transformation of Yuki Johnson through my husband. Daryl has always been my biggest "cheerleader". He always encouraged me and built me up. It was something I definitely did not understand and in later years took for granted. But between God and my husband's influence I am who I am today. :)

What is the difference between trying to change a man and trying to influence him? Now here's a VERY interesting question. First of all there's a difference between "influence" and "manipulation" and that is why my thoughts on the difference between trying to "change a man" vs. trying to "influence him" would  be motivation and tactic. By seeking to glorify God and striving to live in His image and by the power of the Holy Spirit I am able to influence my husband to become the man of God he was meant to be. Influencing focuses on my personal growth and is motivated by my desire to find my worth and value in Christ first and foremost. My tactics would be guided by the Holy Spirit and not my flesh which once again gears this towards a more sacred influence and not manipulation. 

Let's talk about manipulation for a moment. I think that women are wired for manipulation. (Look at Adam and Eve and the apple...need I say more?) The problem is the world fosters manipulation. Every tv show, every movie, even in the Christian realm, we live in manipulation and may not even realize it. It happens unconsciously and it's not until we are made aware of it that we realize how wrong it truly is. I was the biggest manipulator I know and probably one of the best actresses because of it. I knew exactly how to act, what to say, when to cry, when to pout, in order to get my way. It was deplorable! But God began to convict me in this area and slowly transformed my heart and mind. It has been my goal for many years now to raise daughters who were aware of manipulation and how to avoid it. My path has crossed many times with women of all ages in the church who are unaware of their manipulative ways. Manipulation leads to unhappy marriages. It causes unnecessary hurt and pain and sabotages communication. It has been the root cause of communication barriers in my marriage and has taken years to tear down. I implore you to take a close look at what motivates you and ask yourself if what you are doing and saying is building your spouse up or tearing them down. Manipulation may be innately related to women but it goes both ways anymore. Our society has clouded the gender lines and more and more men are taking on the attributes of women and visa versa. We as Christians need to be aware of our own motivating factors in how we are handling things in our marriage and make conscious efforts to put God first, and our spouse next and be purposeful in maintaining a manipulation free zone in our homes!

If you "caught" your husband bragging about you, what do you think he would be saying? What would you like to hear him say in the future? What are some things you can do to start building on this? 

This question was eye-opening for me. It was realizing that my husband typically bragged about Sanctify Ministries or my job that I loved but never really bragged about my being a good wife or mother. In some ways I felt that the ministry and my job had become a sore spot for him because of the fact that I wasn't meeting his needs. At that time I journaled: "I want to be a blessing to my husband so he can speak positively of me and know that I am his biggest cheerleader too. I am honestly at a loss on how to be a support to him. Lord please help me!" So the beginning of the journey wasn't positive. I knew in my heart that I was NOT influencing my husband for good and that something needed to change. So my prayer would be that you to would determine in your heart that you would desire to be a women of Sacred Influence and that your life would be a reflection of Christ and you would use your God given influence for good or better yet...for GREAT!!! :)

BEGINNING THE SACRED INFLUENCE JOURNEY

As I began my journey through Sacred Influence I discovered some rather disturbing things about myself. The funny thing was it came through the combination of my daily devotional book and Bible reading and Sacred Influence. I love when God connects things so completely like that. For example, when I was most confused and not knowing what direction God wanted to take me with this new journey I was reading in Come Away My Beloved and there in the middle of the devotional it said, "But look to Me and I will be your beacon in the night and you will not stumble over the hidden things. You will walk in the way of victory though turmoil is on either hand. It shall be a path of deliverance." These words were an encouragement to me that I should move forward with great anticipation.

Some of my favorite things about the book were the questions he asked (along with the male perspective he presented.) I thought I would share a few of the questions here with you from Chapter 1. Feel free to ponder them...

If you have put your husband's acceptance of you over your identity as a child of God, then how will you ever influence him for the better?

What is the difference between trying to change a man and trying to influence him?

If you "caught" your husband bragging about you, what do you think he would be saying? What would you like to hear him say in the future? What are some things you can do to start building on this?

I think I'll leave you all to think about these things. I'll share my thoughts tomorrow. :)

APPRECIATING THE MAN I AM BLESSED WITH

I've been married for 22 years. It's funny how easy it is to fall into routine and take each other for granted. It's amazing how hard it is to schedule a date night and spend time together. It's sad how quickly we can drift apart and feel disconnected when we're not intentional about our pursuit of one another. I have a good marriage. I want a GREAT one. Over a year ago I prayed for just that - an exceptional marriage. I prayed that God would open my eyes to the things that have been keeping us from having a great marriage. That's when my daughter recommended the book "Sacred Influence" by Gary Thomas (mainly known for his book "Sacred Marriage") I never realized how vital it was to have a man write a book for wives about marriage but this guy did an amazing job! So around Chapter 4 of the book I was compelled to journal about my man. Here's what I wrote a year ago:

Journal Entry May 16, 2011
Daryl Johnson - one of the most attractive men I've ever met! The draw was a definite chemistry placed between us by a loving God. We were hooked from the moment we met. He - the self-assured young man with his sailor swagger and all-American apple pie face. His laughing hazel eyes, adorable smile and cute butt! :)  My heart soared in his presence. I felt cherished, loved, adored, protected and on many occasions larger than life. My heart longed to be his. Being around him left me intoxicated with giddiness and certain joy. There's no man on this earth that could ever capture this heart of mine more completely, save one, my Lord and Savior who has very definitely wooed me and drawn me into an incredible divine romance. But it is also because of this divine romance that I now see my husband in a different light.

You see, for years we've been fulfilling our roles as husband and wife but a few years back the Lord pricked my heart with this thought, "there has got to be more to marriage than this." Not that I had a "bad" marriage - I would and can honestly say we have a good marriage - but the Lord challenged me to dig and to realize that we could easily and conceivably have a GREAT marriage. And thus the transformation of my heart began. I started looking for "tools" to help me more clearly understand the changes I needed to make in my heart, my head, my actions, my thoughts. I had to plough through my own expectations of the picture perfect marriage and make room for the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. It didn't happen over night. It didn't happen in a month. It began to take place and is still taking place even now. My life will never be the same because God challenged me and transformed me. My love is deeper, more complex, my husband more endearing to me today than ever in the past. But God is far from finished! No, this thing is wide-open and just beginning!!

Thank you Lord for refreshing my marriage. I know it's just the tip of the iceberg, but I pray you would continue your work! PLOUGH OUR HEARTS!

And thus the journey of discovery has begun. I must admit I never dreamed just how amazing this would be. And so, little by little I'm going to share with you just what I've learned the past few years as God has been weaving a new pattern into my tapestry of life! Tomorrow I'll tell you about the Rule of Engagement I found in Sacred Influence.

You Can't Pray Enough

You know, sometimes I feel like the Lord gives me a "kick in the pants" to get me back on track with my prayer life. I get busy...we all get busy right? And sometimes I just don't have the energy to get out of bed early and spend time with the Lord. OUCH! Did I just type that out loud?!?!  Unfortunately, this thought has crossed my mind on more than one occasion and it's not a good thing to leave unchecked, that's for sure!

So, recently I was very irritated with my husband. I thought he was overly cranky and that he would just come home from work, plop down in front of his double screen computer corner and spend the remainder of the evening surfing the web for the truck or mac of his dreams. What irritated me most was that I thought he was just feeding discontentment into his life when we are trying hard to settle in here in North Dakota and then become debt free because God has blessed us both with such good paying jobs. About the time when I was ready to blurt out how displeased I was with his actions the Lord threw a road block in my way. I can't even remember what it was but somehow He kept me from saying something completely out of turn and I SOOOOO appreciate His intervention.

Basically the Lord brought me to my knees in prayer for my man. I was so distressed by my hearts response to the whole situation that I could only cry out for God's forgiveness and mercy. I texted my best friend and asked her for prayer as well. The next morning I was up and praying again. Then the most amazing thing happened...

Everything changed. Daryl and I had a full-blown conversation for almost 2 hours!!! Something we haven't had "TIME" for. I never knew God would answer prayer SO quickly! I was so thankful!

God, you have been so good to me. Thank you!

Next time you're frazzled and frustrated - STOP...DROP...PRAY!

WHERE I COME FROM...

Eighteen years ago today I embarked on the most amazing journey life could ever hold. On this day I discovered there was a better way to live life rather than “on my own”. I was not a nice person. I lied, cheated, stole, tore others down to build myself up. I was climbing the corporate ladder and didn’t care that I was sacrificing my family in the process. At that time I had been married 5 years to a wonderful and incredibly patient and understanding man. I was the mother of three beautiful girls ages 8, 2 and 9 months. But I didn’t see how much they needed or wanted me to be a wife and mother. I was completely self-consumed. When I look back at the path I was on, I shudder to think where I would be today. My life would be very different today were it not for His saving grace!

I’m not perfect by any means, but I firmly believe that my life has been greatly enriched and beautifully blessed because 18 years ago I began walking this journey of life hand-in-hand with my two best friends – Jesus and Daryl. From the moment I opened my heart to Him I clung to this verse: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17. I like the New Living Translation of this verse: “At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone, an new life has begun!” (vv. 16-17)

I had made a lot of mistakes in my “old life” and I have made many mistakes since, but somehow He has taken my shortcomings and transformed them into beautiful disasters.

Ephesians sums up my life perfectly:

“Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin just like the rest of the world obeying the devil – the commander of the powers of the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved! God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2

“Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature created to be like God – truly righteous and holy.  So stop telling lies…tell the truth…don’t sin by letting anger control you…if you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead use your hands for good hard work, and give generously…don’t use foul or abusive language, let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember HE HAS IDENTIFIED YOU AS HIS OWN, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:21-31)

I was all the things referenced above. I was consumed by the things of this world and it filled my heart, mind, and actions. Thankfully God saw fit to turn those things around. He literally cleaned house and started fresh. Unfortunately I wasn’t always open to the house cleaning He was doing and it has taken a great number of years to get where I am today. I am fully aware of the fact that I will not be perfected in Christ until I am in His presence. That my willful spirit and blatant disobedience will be a constant challenge and tempt me to do things I know I shouldn’t do. I accept this about myself but I don’t live content in it. I am constantly striving to be more like Christ every day. It is a moment-by-moment decision I choose to make. I desire to “imitate God in everything [I] do.” I desire to “live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.” I try to remember to be thankful and live in the light of His love. I pray that “this light within [me] produces only what is good and right and true.”

It’s been a fantastic journey so far. I am extremely blessed to have a Godly husband and a beautiful family. J I glory in the knowledge that with each rising sun I have another day to live for Him.