In the dream I found myself alone in the crowd with a menacing figure lurking in the shadows. This figure continually followed me, no matter how hard I tried to lose it, it would inevitably find me. When I sought refuge I was either laughed at for being paranoid or scorned for being stupid. Most people went on their merry way, never regarding my plight as serious. It was all on me to deal with this menace. The dream became interesting when, for the first time since having this dream, the menacing figure materialized from shadow to man. It was a man, dirty and disheveled, creepy, quirky and daunting. The figure was also aged and clumsy and I found that rather odd. Then it became apparent that the figure would continue to haunt me unless I met it head on. I didn't FEEL brave enough for this step, but somewhere deep down finally found the courage to go toe-to-toe with this bully that constantly harrassed me. I brandished my concealed carry, pointed it at him and told him to leave and never come back. He tried to get around it, he tried several meager attempts at bullying again, but he'd lost his power when I found the courage to face him, the strength to acknowledge his threats and upon doing so found them to be empty. The threat was diffused and his power was lost and he finally gave up and moved on. I awoke heart pounding, adrenaline pumping, and a peace came over me. I went back to sleep, but when I woke up this morning God was knocking on the door of my heart. He wanted to provide an interpretation to the dream. This has never happened before and I rolled over thinking surely I could sleep a little longer, but my mind began formulating a practical lesson from my dream.
So here I am, processing through it.
I believe we all deal with bullies in our lives. These bullies come in many forms - whether they be financial struggles, physical struggles, emotional struggles, or spiritual struggles. When we struggle and we hold onto them and don't allow God to take those struggles and transform us - they become that dark meancing figure lurking in the shadows. That figure is constantly threatening to expose us and our weaknesses. Being vulnerable is not something we enjoy, it can be painful, it creates fear. That fear caused by the lurking figure is real. God wants to deal with it, but first He requires we acknowledge it and bring it to Him.
It was attributed to King David that he was a man after God's own heart (Acts 13:22) But David had his share of bullying prior to taking the throne and his own challenges as a leader. As a young boy David was annointed to be the next King of God's people. Saul was their King at the time. King Saul was not of sound mind, when King Saul was feeling tormented (bullied), David was engaged to play the harp. David is also known for his bravery. He killed the giant Goliath with his sling and a stone. Jealousy for David and his popularity began to consume King Saul and he threatened David's life. After King Saul hurled a second spear at David he went into hiding from that bully, fearing for his life. How could this brave man, this future king, tuck tail and run like that? Didn't he know God had his back? I love how this shows the humanity of David - though he was a man after God's own heart, he struggled in a very real way during some pivotal character building moments in his life. (Start at 1 Samuel 15 to get the full story.)
What are the bullies in your life? What can you bring to your Savior and leave at the foot of the cross? What area(s) of your life consistently cause your heart to race, your palms to sweat, your words to fail you, when it comes up? Take some time to write it down, pray over it and find scripture to back up God's position regarding that bully. Then square off with it, give it to God and tell it that it no longer has power over you - tell it to take a hike. This isn't a miracle recipe for dealing with struggles, but it is a great starting point to a transformed life. Many of our bullies are of our own making, brought on by a heart that entertains sin in some fashion. We must acknowledge the sin and confess it in order to be freed from it. Until you do, the enemy has a foothold into your life and will continue to pour fear into your heart and be that dark learing shadow.
But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,
I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, "You are my servant"; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.
Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.
For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
"Do not fear, I will help you."
Isaiah 41:8-13
