I've been working hard. A lot harder than I anticipated upon arriving in North Dakota. I'm now back-pedaling trying to slow things down a bit so that my body can catch up with things. I may be feeling better but somehow my poor body isn't keeping up. This can be frustrating but it does remind me of how God has to put up with us and our "pace".
He is deity, we are sinful man.
He is all-knowing, we...haven't got a clue.
I'm sure there are moments where He looks over my life and shakes His head at my stubbornness and stiff necked ways! And other times He chuckles because I "just don't get it!" I am however extremely grateful that He doesn't give up on me. That He persists and teaches me His precepts in a variety of ways until I finally get it. The sad part is that sometimes I get it and then I forget it. What is wrong with me? Why do I force God to have to teach me things over and over again?
Lord, I am truly thankful you don't get frustrated with me the way I get frustrated with my body and how slowly it responds. I pray that someday I will learn to respond more quickly, efficiently and with confidence in You!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
LIFE ON THE BAKKEN
It's been exactly two months now that I've been living on the largest Indian reservation of North Dakota in the largest oil field depository of the United States known as "The Bakken".
In my new job I am learning so much about oil fields, riggers, construction, fracking, water tanks (tritons vs atlantis), heavy equipment, drop deck vs high deck trailers, belly dump vs side dump, oversize load permits, road restrictions, tons vs yards, and the list goes on!
There have been complications that have plagued us with our rental house from a non-functioning bathroom (the only bathroom in the 1000 sf house), paint peeling off walls so bad we had to scrape them before we could paint them, plaster walls that don't allow us to hang anything up on them, a furnace that wouldn't light, a water heater that doesn't heat, an oven that heats TOO well that you can't touch the stove when it's on, a back door that was broken into and no longer locks, carpet that you can't get the smell of smoke out of. But we are grateful to have a roof over our heads, the family back together and a place to call home.
Then there was the realization that we are no longer living in the Bible belt. This has been by far the hardest adjustment of all. There are a large number of Lutheran churches in the area and a great deal of Catholic churches, Baptist churches are few and far between and the cross over from Lutheran to Church of Christ is pretty apparent, especially in those that share the Lutheran Pastors. This is a dark place in many ways and if you talk about Jesus you are met with rolling of the eyes and sometimes completely shut down. There is little tolerance for "religion" first with the tribe and very much so on the Bakken.
I was very discouraged when I read this in my morning devotion a couple days ago:
"You will be My mouthpiece in places where there are no other voices to be heard. You will magnify My Name in a dark corner. You will praise Me in a place where others extol men. You will show My love and reality to those who have not as yet experienced My nearness and fellowship in the way you have known Me. I need you as a light to shine in dark places. I have not called you by some fickle whim. HOw will the message go out without a messenger? I have made you My messenger. You will go with winged feet. You will not allow your foot to be bogged down in the mire of earthly cares and riches. You will discharge your duties with dispatch and will deal in wisdom with each responsibility; but your heart will rest in My hand. Your thoughts will return to Me..." (Come Away My Beloved by Frances Roberts)
This was very convicting and very much a blessing to read. Now comes the hard part...waiting on His direction and leading for our mission here and the church we are to become a part of.
WAITING ON and TRUSTING IN HIM!
In my new job I am learning so much about oil fields, riggers, construction, fracking, water tanks (tritons vs atlantis), heavy equipment, drop deck vs high deck trailers, belly dump vs side dump, oversize load permits, road restrictions, tons vs yards, and the list goes on!
There have been complications that have plagued us with our rental house from a non-functioning bathroom (the only bathroom in the 1000 sf house), paint peeling off walls so bad we had to scrape them before we could paint them, plaster walls that don't allow us to hang anything up on them, a furnace that wouldn't light, a water heater that doesn't heat, an oven that heats TOO well that you can't touch the stove when it's on, a back door that was broken into and no longer locks, carpet that you can't get the smell of smoke out of. But we are grateful to have a roof over our heads, the family back together and a place to call home.
Then there was the realization that we are no longer living in the Bible belt. This has been by far the hardest adjustment of all. There are a large number of Lutheran churches in the area and a great deal of Catholic churches, Baptist churches are few and far between and the cross over from Lutheran to Church of Christ is pretty apparent, especially in those that share the Lutheran Pastors. This is a dark place in many ways and if you talk about Jesus you are met with rolling of the eyes and sometimes completely shut down. There is little tolerance for "religion" first with the tribe and very much so on the Bakken.
I was very discouraged when I read this in my morning devotion a couple days ago:
"You will be My mouthpiece in places where there are no other voices to be heard. You will magnify My Name in a dark corner. You will praise Me in a place where others extol men. You will show My love and reality to those who have not as yet experienced My nearness and fellowship in the way you have known Me. I need you as a light to shine in dark places. I have not called you by some fickle whim. HOw will the message go out without a messenger? I have made you My messenger. You will go with winged feet. You will not allow your foot to be bogged down in the mire of earthly cares and riches. You will discharge your duties with dispatch and will deal in wisdom with each responsibility; but your heart will rest in My hand. Your thoughts will return to Me..." (Come Away My Beloved by Frances Roberts)
This was very convicting and very much a blessing to read. Now comes the hard part...waiting on His direction and leading for our mission here and the church we are to become a part of.
WAITING ON and TRUSTING IN HIM!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Becoming the Helpmate I Should Have Been...
It seems that I have gained a wealth of knowledge since I married my knight in shining armor. The crazy thing is, I have a sneaking suspicion that I have that much more to learn about being married...sad, but true. I've been studying various passages in my Bible when the Lord recently laid it upon my heart to dig deeper into my role as wife. The crazy thing is, as I have been studying this, I have found that by looking into what he should be I find a clearer picture of what I should be as his wife.
It all started with this passage, [the purpose of Paul's instruction] "that believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience and a genuine faith." (1 Timothy 1:5) I began to evaluate myself to see if I truly love from a pure heart - trying to determine if my heart motives are truly pure or if I am trying to manipulate - that was something early on in my walk with the Lord, about five years into our marriage, that I determined WAS an issue. Manipulation was a huge problem for me. As a matter of fact, I find that women seem to have an innate sense of manipulation within them that needs very little effort to nurture and perfect it. Do I love from a clear conscience? I am thankful to say that the Lord has worked a great deal on me to get me to this point that I truly feel I love with a clear conscience - but it took a lot of work on that part of our Lord to transform my thinking that I may understand how He has truly forgiven me of all my past sins and there was no need to live in the guilt and shame that I was allowing to encompass my heart. God is so good! And finally, does my love come from a genuine faith? I must admit, I'm working on that one!
Further along in Timothy we are taught about roles of women and men. I jotted down the women's roles presented: be modest in appearance, wearing decent and appropriate clothing; not draw attention to ourselves; we are to make ourselves attractive by the good things we do learning quietly and submissively, not teaching or having authority over men, listening quietly, and living in faith, love, holiness and modesty. (1 Timothy 2:9-15)
Chapter 3 tells of how a man who desires to be an Elder of the church should live. I've read this section so many times but it never hit me as it did this time. My initial thoughts involved praying for my husband to aspire to live this way, but then I was convicted that I, as his wife should enable him to live in this manner through my own actions and the way I support him. So my mind has been dwelling on what I should be doing to build him up in this regard.
Here's the list, he must live...
a life above reproach
be faithful to his wife
exercise self control
live wisely
have a good reputation
enjoy having guests in his home
able to teach
not a heavy drinker
not prone to violence
gentle
not quarrelsome
not love money
manage his family well
have children who respect and obey him
must not be a new believer (because they might become proud for the devil may cause him to fall)
people outside of the church must speak well of him.
So now I am going to spend more time dwelling on this. I have thoughts because I have had a life time to work on helping him to become this - but as I meditate on the subject I find that I am severely lacking on my success rate in this area. Not saying he has not lived up to the things listed above, but I AM saying I haven't made it very easy for him. A very hard thing for me to admit to. So I will be spending time in confession, prayer and deeper contemplation and let you know how it goes.
It all started with this passage, [the purpose of Paul's instruction] "that believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience and a genuine faith." (1 Timothy 1:5) I began to evaluate myself to see if I truly love from a pure heart - trying to determine if my heart motives are truly pure or if I am trying to manipulate - that was something early on in my walk with the Lord, about five years into our marriage, that I determined WAS an issue. Manipulation was a huge problem for me. As a matter of fact, I find that women seem to have an innate sense of manipulation within them that needs very little effort to nurture and perfect it. Do I love from a clear conscience? I am thankful to say that the Lord has worked a great deal on me to get me to this point that I truly feel I love with a clear conscience - but it took a lot of work on that part of our Lord to transform my thinking that I may understand how He has truly forgiven me of all my past sins and there was no need to live in the guilt and shame that I was allowing to encompass my heart. God is so good! And finally, does my love come from a genuine faith? I must admit, I'm working on that one!
Further along in Timothy we are taught about roles of women and men. I jotted down the women's roles presented: be modest in appearance, wearing decent and appropriate clothing; not draw attention to ourselves; we are to make ourselves attractive by the good things we do learning quietly and submissively, not teaching or having authority over men, listening quietly, and living in faith, love, holiness and modesty. (1 Timothy 2:9-15)
Chapter 3 tells of how a man who desires to be an Elder of the church should live. I've read this section so many times but it never hit me as it did this time. My initial thoughts involved praying for my husband to aspire to live this way, but then I was convicted that I, as his wife should enable him to live in this manner through my own actions and the way I support him. So my mind has been dwelling on what I should be doing to build him up in this regard.
Here's the list, he must live...
a life above reproach
be faithful to his wife
exercise self control
live wisely
have a good reputation
enjoy having guests in his home
able to teach
not a heavy drinker
not prone to violence
gentle
not quarrelsome
not love money
manage his family well
have children who respect and obey him
must not be a new believer (because they might become proud for the devil may cause him to fall)
people outside of the church must speak well of him.
So now I am going to spend more time dwelling on this. I have thoughts because I have had a life time to work on helping him to become this - but as I meditate on the subject I find that I am severely lacking on my success rate in this area. Not saying he has not lived up to the things listed above, but I AM saying I haven't made it very easy for him. A very hard thing for me to admit to. So I will be spending time in confession, prayer and deeper contemplation and let you know how it goes.
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