WHEN THE ENEMY IS PERSISTENT

We have a big event coming up soon! The Women's Retreat for our church - "Come As You Are" is just a short time away. As we prepare for the event I am feeling the pressure mounting from the spiritual forces of darkness (sounds ominous, I know - but it is). I've been involved in events in the past and experienced this - but I find the enemy is crafty in his approach and uses the most unexpected places to discourage soldiers of Christ. This would be the case once again! It's amazing how the enemy will attack you in areas where you thought you were confident. (act out in pride.) 

The place God took me during this particularly spiritual warfare-laden night was Romans. As I evaluated my situation God initially had me reading Romans 8:1-2 "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death." So those whispers of condemnation were not of God - they were the enemy trying to discourage and dissuade me from my task. As I evaluated I asked God some questions, 

"Why did I volunteer to lead worship for the women's retreat?" 

"Is my heart in the right place Lord?" 

From there he took me to Romans 12:3 - "Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourself by the faith God has given us." 

So...You think my heart isn't right Lord?
No...that's not what I want you to focus on.
OH???
I want you to evaluate your pride AND your heart. Because you should never think you are better than you really are and I want you to settle in your heart just what it is that has you questioning the role you've been given in this event. Be honest in your evaluation - measure yourself by the faith I've given you and not by what others think. 

This led me to Proverbs 3:5-6

Eventually He brought me back to Romans 12. As I read this chapter over and over I constantly paused at this verse... "If God has given you leadership ability take the responsbility seriously." 

So Lord, you think I haven't taken this responsbility seriously? 
It's not that you haven't taken it seriously, it's more about the focus. What are you focusing on? Perfection and presentation? Or ministry and transformation? 
So, this responsbility is serious and must be taken seriously but from the vantage point of ministering and transforming lives? 
What has the scriptures told you? 
They've told me - "don't just pretend to love others - REALLY LOVE them." to "HOLD TIGHTLY to what is good...to SERVE you with ENTHUSIASM...to BE PATIENT in trouble and KEEP PRAYING...and not to let evil conquer me but to CONQUER EVIL by DOING GOOD." 

After writing this chapter out a couple times, I ended up with this list of reminders in my times of struggle with a persistent enemy...

1. Honestly assess yourself.
2. Be full of integrity and humility.
3. Take your leadership responsbility seriously.
4. Love everybody genuinely.
5. Change the way you think - be transformed.
6. Shut up and keep praying.
7. Serve enthusiastically.
8. Rejoice in your confident Hope.
9. Conquer evil by doing good.
10. Live in harmony.
11. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.

This list has come in handy over the past few days. The enemy hasn't let up and things keep popping up that make life a little crazy and some days difficult - but I know where my Hope lies. I know that His love and strength are what will get me through the days and that ultimately - it's in that strength that I desire to put forth the effort because I want to do all things in His name and for His glory! 

So whether it has to do with building a house, working on taxes, keeping up with my job, leading praise team, supporting the retreat committee, an interstitial cystitis flare, a fibromyalgia flare, I am going to praise Him through it all. Mainly because the enemy would have me do otherwise and I'm a rebel. 

5 REASONS WHY the AIP (Autoimmune Protocol) DIET WORKS FOR ME

A few years back I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. That's all six months of going back and forth to Cleveland Clinic produced - well that and an offer for pain management to step in and get a pain block and a recommendation for a psychological evaluation because - yep, they told me it may all be in my head. I don't totally disagree that some of our pain comes from experiences that manifest themselves in parts of the body (for more information on this go to Body Pain Linked to Emotional State)

However, I knew and still know that I my body is struggling with something that is beyond the emotional state. It is an actual degeneration of my healthy cells because they are attacking one another and causing my body to be in a constant state of heightened stress literally in constant crisis mode. A body can only exist in this state for a certain amount of time before it starts to deteriorate. It profiles itself for the more terminal illnesses such as heart disease or cancer. 

When it comes to modern - conventional medicine I have discovered a couple things - 

1. Being on antibiotics repeatedly (5-7 times per year for 25 years) causes your body to become "immune"... allergic to multiple strains of antibiotics. I only have one class of antibiotics I can use at this time in my life. My nurse practitioner saw that and has attempted to keep me OFF antibiotics if at all possible. We had been fairly successful up until my surgery on my arm - where they gave IV antibiotics and I didn't even know they did that until after the surgery.  
2. Pain killers, whether over-the-counter or prescribed - should be used on a LIMITED basis. See chart below for more information! 
3. If a doctor doesn't think he can help you, he will dump you. Not every doctor is like this, and my doctor stuck it out for almost 4 years with me, but after my run to Cleveland Clinic my doc decided he, nor any doctor in his practice, would be able to see me anymore and sent me a letter to notify me of this. That was a very painful and eye-opening moment for me. 

My autoimmune state was brought on by several factors and one of the major factors was yeast overgrowth - also known as candida albican. If I had caught this in its initial state I may have been able to avoid the resulting Fibromyalgia or not have had a immune compromised body that would have been able to battle Lyme Disease. But that's not what the Lord had planned for me - so here I am. I honestly battle for my life - some days the battle is harder than others - but I will take where I am now in comparison to where I was three, almost four years ago. I owe a great deal of my current functioning health to my naturopath - he listened, he learned and he figured out several things my body was battling and he put me on a very strict AIP diet and detoxed me over a two year span. I have not been released by him yet - just can't afford the flights to Colorado right now so it's been put on hold. HOWEVER, the AIP Diet was a God-send and here are my FIVE REASONS THE AIP DIET WORKS FOR ME...

1. It cuts out sugar. Check out what Wellness Mama has to say about sugar here. Sugar is an inflammatory agent which causes my joints to swell and increases my pain. 
2. It cuts out processed food. There's a lot of junk we put into our bodies - cutting processed food eliminates that junk and gives our body a fighting chance to heal itself. 
3. It encourages healthy eating habits. The AIP Diet may seem limited, but when we start eating properly we begin to feel so much better our body actually craves the good food over the bad. 
4. It provides a guide that works for me. By following the foundational eating recommendations for the AIP Diet, I have less brain fog, less inflammation, less pain, and more benefits!
5. It gives my body a chance to heal. By sticking with the AIP Diet my body has a chance to heal from all the damage that has been caused by what I've put into it prior to the autoimmune issues. There are so many things I have done in the past that have exacerbated this problem. BUT I will save that for another blog post - this one is long enough already! 

If you struggle with fatigue, brain fog, chronic pain, and more, this may be a program that can help you! If you have a program that is helping you with your chronic pain, autoimmune condition, etc. feel free to share in the comments! Happy Hump Day! 

BY HIS WOUNDS WE ARE HEALED

INTRODUCTION
First of all it's probably time to reintroduce myself. It's been awhile. But this...is me...

 This is me about a year ago - on my AIP Diet.  This is me today - after 4 months on SAD Diet.

Admittedly, it's not a great shot and one was taken in a yellow bathroom while the other was taken in my new house. BUT...you will notice two things - my face is swollen in the picture on the right, my eyes aren't as clear and my hair is "lifeless." I am grateful that my skin tone has maintained but I have a healthier glow even though I look yellow.

I am Yuki and I have been living my autoimmune adventure for several years now but was formally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2011.  From 2013-2014 I was under the care of an amazing naturopath who encouraged me to maintain a strict diet, use supplements and detox my body. Because of his work I was basically thriving until recently when I decided to chuck it all and eat like everybody else. It started with just ONE DAY...one day of ditching the diet - Thanksgiving, then it led to two, and you I'm sure you can figure out the rest. My body began to crave sugar, to crave breads and grains, and I began to have inflammation issues, the pain in the joints and muscles began to increase from it's gentle state of 3-4 to running around 6-8. My mobility began to suffer and my energy has been non-existent. Keeping up with life has been difficult...

My refuge is my comfy bed with my heated mattress pad!!

My strength comes from one place and one place only. 

I've been working on a Jennie Allen study called Restless. This study is focusing in on the struggles of Joseph and the suffering he went through but ultimately focuses on Jesus and how He suffered and how His suffering makes Him our ultimate advocate with our God. It is He that understands all that suffering entails and relates it to His purposes for our lives. 

 As tonight's study stated, "the greatest thing you have to give to the world could be hidden in your darkest moments. What if your scars point to a greater story? Every time I want to be mad at God because of suffering (whether it is my own or someone else) he shows me JESUS.

I have known Jesus most deeply in suffering; he seems to inhabit suffering and he endured it first."

"His glory will be revealed, and those who have suffered most will be the most overjoyed."

My suffering is not anything to write home about. My suffering is very character building and God has used it to transform my heart and mind to be stayed on Him. He has used it to make me more aware of my need for His intervention, His healing, His promises, His faithfulness. He is my strength and my portion forever and it's because of Him that I have been able to come back from something so debilitating, so depleting of life, that I can sit here and type this blog post. The idea that I can even walk without being crumpled over. The idea that I can think without the fog of prescription pain killers clouding my thoughts. GOD IS GOOD. But I have fallen off the "wagon" so-to-speak. And I am struggling to get back on. Maintaining this lifestyle of Autoimmune Protocol eating and cutting out the foods that are stimulating the interstitial cystitis IS hard. It is a journey whose path I traveled once and will travel again. My next post will elaborate on those foods that I had to cut initially because of how broken-down my body was. It's an incredible testimony to a great God and His hand in my life! 

WHY WE CHOSE TO BRING IN A MODULAR HOME

After months and months...no wait - after YEARS and YEARS of planning and plotting and dreaming and devising, we had to make a choice...do we "stick build" or bring in a modular home? We determined which modular company we would buy from and then we researched stick built and ICF houses. What we found out for our area was this...when you live in the middle-of-nowhere and you contact a construction company to build your house from scratch, you have to cover the cost of housing and anticipate trip or mileage charges added in to the cost and the list went on. It was rather depressing because we had dreamt of building an ICF home and thought it would weather our North Dakota plains living and the buffeting wind well. But it wasn't a feasible option.

Given the fact we were developing our land and building a house on it - we would have had to come up with upwards of $600,000 to build a basic 1500 square foot home - most likely without a basement. More than half a million for a house on the prairie whose resale potential is extremely limited. More than likely we hope and pray one of our children will choose to settle here after we are gone. 

Then we did some indepth research on modulars vs manufactured and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt we would go with the modular build. We could specify our foundational structure - and went with a floor tress system. I am glad we chose that - because other foundational systems are creaky - this one is as solid as stickbuilt.

We also went with our broker Kopper Creek Homes because I had found a kindred spirit amongst the sales people in this industry. Cayttie was able to dream right along with me and totally understood my desire for a rustic, industrial, chic farmhouse. It was an odd combination of modern and rustic. She nailed it! 

My AMAZING kitchen!

We chose modular because of the timing - we wanted to get things rolling as soon as possible and with North Dakota winters - building on site had about a 4 month window. We didn't anticipate such a mild winter - but it has proven beneficial as we continue to forge up the seams of our home. Something a typical North Dakota winter would not have allowed.

We chose modular because we wanted to be able to customize our home - just as we would have with a stickbuilt. And customize we did - from the kitchen, to the pantry, to the piano room and the masterbath - our home is just that OUR HOME! 

Here's a shot of them setting our modular on 

our walkout basement.

There are some cosmetic issues that are being dealt with - nothing is perfect...but there was still that potential had we done a stickbuilt home. To say that we couldn't be happier with our amazing modular home is an understatement. This place is simply GORGEOUS and MORE than I could have hoped for. We are loving life on the farm and even though my poor husband is working himself into exhaustion trying to be the general contractor and put the finishing touches on our home, we are love-love-loving it! 

SO, if you live in the middle of nowhere, you may want to look into modular over building from the ground up - it's not for everybody, but we are definintely content! 

3 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU START TO BUILD A HOUSE

We have been through the ringer with this house building thing. We aren't even past the early stages and we are already experiencing some major pain in the home building arena.

When we started this process we were excited to finally see some movement towards our goal after about 2 1/2 years of planning. Or so we thought. What we found out is that we had been doing about 2 1/2 years of dreaming and had not touched on the planning yet. What we found out is that we were behind the ball on many things and ahead of the game in others. But what we found that hurt the most was that our dreamers, our wanters had taken over our bodies and we were no longer functioning within our budgetary guidelines. As a matter of fact, we were so far beyond them that we forgot what they were!

This being the case, I want to save some people some of the pain that we are currently experiencing. Here are three things you should do BEFORE you start to build a house.

1) KNOW YOUR BUDGET - one of my goals has always been to own my house and not have my house own me. This is fairly easy to accomplish when you rent, when you buy a house that's pre-owned - well, that's another story for another day, but suffice it to say - SET YOUR DOLLAR LIMIT and STAY WITHIN IT. Do NOT -- no really...DO NOT blow your budget!

2) RESEARCH YOUR BUILDER - we thought we'd done our research but what we had been doing was simply dreaming - when it came to understanding who the builder was, we were clueless. WHY? Because we went with a broker. We purchased a modular home built by the broker's company of choice. How do they choose - well, they sign on to sell certain builder's homes - in our case, they had three levels of builders - the pre-fab home style builders whose houses look like mobile homes, the middle market builder whose houses look great until you pull out the level and the magnifying glass, and of course there is their top of the line builder that only a select few can afford. In our case - we fell within the category of their middle market builder. What we didn't know were some of the key elements we wanted were sacrificed - not because they couldn't do it and do it well, but because we chose to compromise our budget and stretch some things thin while other items we went top of the line with.

Once you narrow down your builder - CHECK THEM OUT. Visit their factory, see how they do things. If we had known, we likely would have gone a different route, but we didn't. Don't get me wrong - we have a beautiful home - there were just a few things that looked a bit slapped together or weren't up to the standard we thought they would be - but they are all minor cosmetic issues we can manage ourselves. As far as structure and soundness - it is fantastic.

3) UNDERSTAND EXTENUATING COSTS - for us, we built from scratch - literally from the ground up. Undeveloped land that we had to pull power, cable, drill a well, excavate out of the side hill...SO - the house was reasonable and well within our budget - but when you added the development of the land, septic tank installation, excavation and cement work, cost of build out for the basement and garage and throw in a 500 sf mudroom - you have a recipe for going WAY.OVER.BUDGET. We have tried to maintain - but we have constantly been getting slapped with misquotes and whoopses. You need to get your quotes in advance - lock the contractor in and incorporate those charges into your budget. This must be included in the cost of building your home so that you aren't thrown a huge curveball!

We are still in the process of building our home. Our appraisal is now our nemesis. There were some items added to the appraisal in order to obtain the value of the home that now have to be completed in order to convert our construction loan to a mortgage - but I can honestly say - what I am seeing - when we finish our house (top to bottom) and all is complete, THIS HOUSE - this amazing piece of exquisite real estate will be worth double that appraisal value - guaranteed! Now, here's hoping we live long enough to see it completed! lol! My poor husband has poured his heart and soul into this place! Hours upon hours of work to get this home built! I will say this...it is already breathtaking! I never dreamt of living in a home as grande as our farmhouse on the prairie! In that respect - God is good and we are very happy! I don't mean for the points above to sound negative but they are IMPORTANT considerations - so please, if you're building, keep these three things in mind BEFOREHAND!

This story is our story - it doesn't reflect every situation or every person's building experience - so please know that I am sharing from our personal experience and nothing more.

RESTORATION - Praising a God Who Restores

At the age of 28 she was on her second marriage, had three children and was trapped in a life entrenched in lies, cheating and stealing. She justified her actions. She thought she'd never get caught. But he caught her. The man she'd made a covenant marriage vow with. She confessed all to him - not to hurt him, but because she couldn't carry this any longer. She will never forget the pain she saw in his eyes. Pain she knew had forged deep into his very soul. Pain SHE had caused. He gave only one ultimatum. "Never lie to me again." He didn't chastise her, he didn't reason with her, he didn't even ask why she had done it - maybe he was afraid she'd lie some more and didn't want to risk that. He professed his love for her but firmly let her know he would not tolerate lies within their marriage. But truly, it was the pain in the eyes that convicted her more than any words would have. They'd been married for five years. She'd put him through so much during that time and he still clung to whatever minute strand of hope he could find that things would eventually work out.

That Sunday morning in church God broke her. She could not move - she didn't remember the sermon - all she heard was God calling her to give her life and every rotten thing she'd done over to Him. Somehow the pastor even knew. This sweet fundamental baptist church always had an invitation at the end of service, but today it went on for what seemed an eternity in the eyes of the soul that sat wrestling between the pull of the world and the gentle touch of the Spirit. About the fourth time through "I Surrender All" she moved, slowly, hesitantly, not knowing what to expect but desperately needing something to change. As she prayed, change came. Slow and deliberate - the Spirit began to sooth the anxious soul, mend the shattered heart, heal the broken marriage and tenderly pour life back in. THIS is RESTORATION. THIS is the beauty in the life-giving, life-changing, power of the Savior. Marriage restored. Life restored. Family restored. Future restored. All done by a GOD who RESTORES!

21 years later that same woman now celebrates with great joy 26 years of marriage to a man that never gave up on her! 21 years later she's celebrating a God that took a wretch and transformed her into someone who loves others, and desires to share her love for God with them. She's not perfect, she still struggles and she knows she has a long way to go - but she has hope, joy, peace, and a husband and a God that she can always rely on!

PONDERING THE PROMISE (When God Makes a Promise...He Keeps It!)

Today is Day 12 of the 40 Days of Praise Challenge. It's been an interesting ride so far! I've learned so much about God through the depth of the Scriptures that I had not forged before and through the encouragement of the women that are traveling this road with me!

Rather than being vague - I will be completely transparent. There have been many challenges in my life that would present opportunity for the Lord to be my comforter. Those include several moves where I found myself engulfed in loneliness and steeped in depression. They include turning over my children to the Lord at various times in their lives during some trying and yes even some rebellious moments. Moments where they were injured, car accidents, and even a time where one ran away and left my heart broken and in unimaginable pain. Grieving over choices made and painful consequences. It was God's comfort and grace that saw me through those moments but the most challenging time in my life is the health issues I have been dealing with for more than five years now. Debilitating illness that left me nearly bedridden for several months and in so much pain throughout my entire body that I threw myself at His feet for comfort and relief. 

While reading Psalm 119:48-52, I zeroed in on the word "PROMISE". I don't know why but the pull to communicate a little more clearly what the Psalmist is talking about here was strong. We all know that God made promises to his people and I have professed my faith in Him in the keeping of those promises, but have never felt so driven to be able to articulate this more clearly than now. Our hope and our comfort are found here...the promise, that we would be reconciled to God. 

Hebrews 9 declares the first covenant between God and Israel had regulations for worship that were very specific - including the measurements and technical elements involved with the building of the tabernacle to the particular sacrifices to be made for the atonement of the sins of men. There were two rooms - one was called the Holy Place, the other the Most Holy Place. (Read Hebrews 9:1-5) The priests were required to regularly enter and perform religious duties. But only the high priest ever entered the Most Holy Place, and only once a year. There he made blood offerings for his own sins and the sins of the people. "The Most Holy Place was not freely open...the gifts and sacrifices that the priests offer are not able to cleanse the consciences of the people who bring them." (He. 9:8-9) These physical regulations were in effect only until a "better system" could be established. "So Christ has now become the High Priest over all the good things that have come. He has entered that greater more perfect Tabernacle in heaven, which was not made by human hands and is not part of this created world. With his own blood, not the blood of goats and calves - he entered the Most Holy place once for all time and secured our redemption forever! For Christ did not enter into a holy place made with human hands, which was only a copy of the true one in heaven. He entered into heaven itself to appear now before God on our behalf...once and for all he has appeared at the end of the age to remove sin by his own death as a sacrifice. Christ died once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people. He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for him." (Heb. 9:11-28)

"And so dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven's Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God's house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise." Hebrews 10:19-24 NLT 

Could not have said this better myself. Seriously, the Word of God has all this and more and I think I get so busy with life I don't focus in on the important, life-transforming word's within this book. There's beautiful communion to be found with our Lord when we take the time to humbly sift through the pages of our Bible and focus in on the many aspects within that relate to our Creator and His chosen people. Our COMFORT is truly found in His promises and that is why I believe God tugged at my heart to dig deeper into His Promise! Praying you found comfort in these truths as well!