THE GOOD WIFE...NOT

It is amazing what the Lord has to do to get SELF out of the way so that you can have a better view of life around you. It's been quite the process this - getting self out of the way - thing. I never realized how self-consumed I actually have been throughout my life, but what I never thought was that I was not a good wife. I thought I was exceptional. I have four beautiful daughters that were well behaved and a joy to be around. I tried to make sure his socks and underwear drawer were always full. I made him dinner...sometimes. I thought I was respectful. I thought I was supportive. But reflecting on my life I am ashamed of who I've been, how I've treated my husband and just how unconcerned for his well-being I acted. When did I become so selfish?

Things I did NOT do for my husband that I am going to start doing now...

* I never took a glass of cold water or iced tea or something out to him while he mowed the lawn in 90+ degree weather. I plan to rectify this oversight this summer.
* I never thanked him or told him just how incredible I think his mechanical skills are and how blessed our family has been by his willingness to sacrifice his weekends and evenings to work on our vehicles and maintain them. How much money he saved us is unfathomable. What an amazing guy! I have told him how I think he ROCKS in this area just recently!
* I forgot to ask him how his day went on a regular basis. I usually just dumped my complaints on him, and sometimes the kids - never even realizing that just maybe he had a bad day and could use a little compassion from his wife.
* I have often neglected to show appreciation for all the little things he would do without my asking. This got so bad that eventually he stopped doing them. Thanks for shoveling the walks the other morning in sub-zero weather babe and for starting my car so it was defrosted and warm and ready to go! And thanks for putting the subzero windshield wiper fluid in without my even asking - it really came in handy!
* I never mentioned how safe and secure he has always made me feel or how cool it is that he can shoot so well and loves all sorts of guns and even shoots a bow. YOU DA MAN!
* I have not been very good about mentioning what an awesome father he is. He has four amazing daughters - they didn't get to be who they are today without his input and God certainly placed within him a discernment and compassion and great love for his girls. Thanks for being so sensitive and caring and for continuing to pour into their lives to this day!
* I have never told him that I don't want to live without him. That he makes me smile, points me to Jesus, helps me become a better person the longer we're together. He brings a smile to my face and a song to my heart!
* I have been somewhat controlling and manipulative. I thought I had this UNDER CONTROL but sadly - my sinful nature was controlling me and I thought I had to control my husband. Our life would be so much farther along and even a great deal better if I had let him lead! UUGH! I just cringe when I think of some of the things I've said and done that have undermined him, hurt him, broken him. I desire to encourage him and support him and pray the Lord would equip him to be the head of the household as God intended all along. Lord, help me get out of the way!!!
* I have poured into and encouraged many young women along the way, but I never really poured into my husband. It's time. I need to become his biggest cheerleader because he deserves it. He is an amazing man, who has done some awesome things in his lifetime and I'm sure has many more awesome things to accomplish in the years ahead - and I desire to be alongside to see these amazing things as they happen and cheer him on in the process.

How things ever got so off-track, how I ever became so selfish and messed up is a sad state of affairs. My fleshly, sinful nature was run-amok - but I am so thankful the Lord in His goodness and mercy has begun to reveal to me the ugliness of my heart and life and is working on transforming me into a woman after God's heart and a loving, respectful, supportive, encouraging wife. I pray THEY (Daryl & God) never give up on me!! That someday I can gratefully and honestly tout the title "The Good Wife" to His glory!