IN CHRIST ALONE

It has been a long heavy five months. I never knew something could become all-consuming. This thing...it's become more of an "elephant in the room," a constant feeling of failure, a constant reminder of my own past that has come back to haunt me in many ways.

As I reflected back on the past year I see how I have allowed this situation to take over and almost impede progress. Not a healthy perspective but I'm being honest here. I have struggled miserably with my own heart, my own relationship with God, my relationship with my family. But before I have everybody depressed let me move on to the beautiful things that have come from all this...

You see, when a person sits back and reflects on the year as a whole - there are glimpses of beauty among the ashes! And we had tons!!! I have to attribute the beauty to the only One who could possibly bring forth any form of beauty from all we've been through this year - and that is Christ Alone! Yes - He is fully and completely responsible for making this a year of new beginnings and fresh starts.

I moved to North Dakota with trepidation. Without any anticipation of anything other than cold. And I have found plenty of cold. But with the cold comes these amazing snow falls - the kind where the snow is so heavy and moist it collects on the tree branches, the telephone poles, the electrical lines and leaves the surroundings looking like a veritable winter wonderland. (Makes me wish I had snow shoes and a snow mobile!) This same snow reflects the sunlight and leaves me wishing I hadn't left my sunglasses at home because it is so wonderfully bright! The cold leaves me appreciating the days we break into the teens! And loving the heatwave we've had the last couple days because we actually hit 30 degrees! (Unseasonably warm!)

With the move has come new friendships formed. An unlikely female coworker who has turned out to be a huge blessing, who is like iron-sharpening-iron and one who knows her Bible so deeply and personally she's put me to shame! I've also made friends with some distant friends and relatives I might never have known without the move. Chance meetings at the Dakota Mall and impromptu lunches. Precious new friends who email or text out of the blue just to say "hi". Others who mention jewelry parties on their facebook to help promote Women At Risk and the ministry they stand for. And then there are the unlikely friendships with the guys that work for the company. These guys that put in 12-18 hour days, live for months away from family, give up so much of themselves and live out a seemingly lonely existence here in cold country. My goal at work is to touch their lives in a positive fashion and show the love of Jesus in some way-shape-or-form so that they might someday know Him. Or if they already do, give them a ray of sunshine in their day. Apparently it's worked for several texted me at random over the holidays wishing me and my family a Merry Christmas. God is good!

With the move has come great challenges to my former Christian bubble existence. The bubble has definitely popped and reality settled in quickly. August brought about the greatest reality check that left our family reeling. In December came the realization that we had allowed the situation to consume us and devastate us and keep us from moving forward and living for Jesus. I took time to reflect on this and made the decision that I would not let this continue. It was time to move forward, to get my eyes back on the goal. To refocus my heart on heavenly things and let the things of this world dim by comparison. And as I began to move forward an even more wonderful gift unfolded before my very eyes...

A deeper, revitalized, unbelievably sweet relationship with my precious man. I never knew it would take such trials and tribulations to move us to this level of intimacy in our relationship. One that shows a great deal of respect for each other. One that allows us to encourage one another to love and good deeds. One that enables us to touch one another's hearts in ways we never have before. This on the cusp of empty nest. Such beauty is unfathomable and rich.

Lord you ARE good and Your mercy DOES endure forever. And I am SO grateful for all You've allowed us to go through this past year and look forward to all You have for us in the years to come!

In Christ alone my hope is found - He is my light, my strength my song.
This Cornerstone, this solid ground. Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace.
When fears are stilled. When strivings cease.
My comforter, my all in all, here in the love of Christ I stand!

HAPPY, BLESSED, JOY-FILLED, PEACEFUL NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!