I have been living the textbook life of the American Christian. Hopefully I don't offend, I'm praying I only convict with my words and draw you closer to the Lord. This textbook American Christian to me looks like this:
* Self Sufficient
* Prideful
*Arrogant
*Double Minded
*Pious
*Judgmental
*Insincere
I'm not saying that these are all-encompassing traits and that the American Christian doesn't possess positive traits as well, but I am saying that our comfortable lives have left us open to these not-so-Christian traits invading our lives and we let it slide because we never realize there is a different way to be living. Basically I've allowed so much of the world to become embedded in me that I haven't had room for Christ. I began to see just how pharisaical my life has been. I allowed everyone outside my family to see my good side but all the while the flesh would rear it's ugly head - not usually at my children but mostly at my husband. Now, he's a tough guy, a real man who can take it, and I am ever so thankful for that because in all my ugliness he still saw the beauty within and never gave up on our marriage!
So my conversation with God went something like this:
How is it that I am FINALLY learning so much about You? How much pride I must have that I would prefer to live like a pharisee. I am truly devastated Lord and quite mortified as well! However, I believe I am beginning to understand why things have seemed so distant between us. I know it wasn't You. I am FULLY to blame. I have taught myself to play the role of a Christian, saying all the right words but feeling so distant from You. I am truly learning what it means to be a woman after God's own heart and not someone out there serving God for all to see. I'm not negating the fact that You were using me in spite of myself - for that I am really grateful. I am saying that You probably could have done so much more if I had gotten myself out of the way!!
Thanks for being patient with me Lord. I know we have a long way to go, but I am excited about the journey ahead.
I am finding out how much I NEED God. How to FEAR Him in reverence. Just how depraved I truly am. I understand all of this more fully now.
I have always had a theory in Sanctify Ministries - the purity ministry the Lord allowed me to be a part of - the theory is this: Purity is a process fueled by a passion. I would not be who I am today or where I am today had it not been for that passionate pursuit and hunger for an understanding of purity. Don't get me wrong, I know I have a LONG way to go yet and that I'll never "arrive" or meet perfection in this lifetime. I have occasionally felt my strivings were in vain and that I definitely gave myself too much credit but I can actually see how much I've grown and am so grateful for it. As my relationship with the Lord takes on a deeper understanding I feel so overwhelmed by His love and sacrifice on my behalf.
Am I a Pharisee? In some respects, I would have to say yes. My prayer is that God would weed out all those pharisaical thoughts and habits out of my life and continue to mold me and shape me into His image.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
THE GOOD WIFE...NOT
It is amazing what the Lord has to do to get SELF out of the way so that you can have a better view of life around you. It's been quite the process this - getting self out of the way - thing. I never realized how self-consumed I actually have been throughout my life, but what I never thought was that I was not a good wife. I thought I was exceptional. I have four beautiful daughters that were well behaved and a joy to be around. I tried to make sure his socks and underwear drawer were always full. I made him dinner...sometimes. I thought I was respectful. I thought I was supportive. But reflecting on my life I am ashamed of who I've been, how I've treated my husband and just how unconcerned for his well-being I acted. When did I become so selfish?
Things I did NOT do for my husband that I am going to start doing now...
* I never took a glass of cold water or iced tea or something out to him while he mowed the lawn in 90+ degree weather. I plan to rectify this oversight this summer.
* I never thanked him or told him just how incredible I think his mechanical skills are and how blessed our family has been by his willingness to sacrifice his weekends and evenings to work on our vehicles and maintain them. How much money he saved us is unfathomable. What an amazing guy! I have told him how I think he ROCKS in this area just recently!
* I forgot to ask him how his day went on a regular basis. I usually just dumped my complaints on him, and sometimes the kids - never even realizing that just maybe he had a bad day and could use a little compassion from his wife.
* I have often neglected to show appreciation for all the little things he would do without my asking. This got so bad that eventually he stopped doing them. Thanks for shoveling the walks the other morning in sub-zero weather babe and for starting my car so it was defrosted and warm and ready to go! And thanks for putting the subzero windshield wiper fluid in without my even asking - it really came in handy!
* I never mentioned how safe and secure he has always made me feel or how cool it is that he can shoot so well and loves all sorts of guns and even shoots a bow. YOU DA MAN!
* I have not been very good about mentioning what an awesome father he is. He has four amazing daughters - they didn't get to be who they are today without his input and God certainly placed within him a discernment and compassion and great love for his girls. Thanks for being so sensitive and caring and for continuing to pour into their lives to this day!
* I have never told him that I don't want to live without him. That he makes me smile, points me to Jesus, helps me become a better person the longer we're together. He brings a smile to my face and a song to my heart!
* I have been somewhat controlling and manipulative. I thought I had this UNDER CONTROL but sadly - my sinful nature was controlling me and I thought I had to control my husband. Our life would be so much farther along and even a great deal better if I had let him lead! UUGH! I just cringe when I think of some of the things I've said and done that have undermined him, hurt him, broken him. I desire to encourage him and support him and pray the Lord would equip him to be the head of the household as God intended all along. Lord, help me get out of the way!!!
* I have poured into and encouraged many young women along the way, but I never really poured into my husband. It's time. I need to become his biggest cheerleader because he deserves it. He is an amazing man, who has done some awesome things in his lifetime and I'm sure has many more awesome things to accomplish in the years ahead - and I desire to be alongside to see these amazing things as they happen and cheer him on in the process.
How things ever got so off-track, how I ever became so selfish and messed up is a sad state of affairs. My fleshly, sinful nature was run-amok - but I am so thankful the Lord in His goodness and mercy has begun to reveal to me the ugliness of my heart and life and is working on transforming me into a woman after God's heart and a loving, respectful, supportive, encouraging wife. I pray THEY (Daryl & God) never give up on me!! That someday I can gratefully and honestly tout the title "The Good Wife" to His glory!
Things I did NOT do for my husband that I am going to start doing now...
* I never took a glass of cold water or iced tea or something out to him while he mowed the lawn in 90+ degree weather. I plan to rectify this oversight this summer.
* I never thanked him or told him just how incredible I think his mechanical skills are and how blessed our family has been by his willingness to sacrifice his weekends and evenings to work on our vehicles and maintain them. How much money he saved us is unfathomable. What an amazing guy! I have told him how I think he ROCKS in this area just recently!
* I forgot to ask him how his day went on a regular basis. I usually just dumped my complaints on him, and sometimes the kids - never even realizing that just maybe he had a bad day and could use a little compassion from his wife.
* I have often neglected to show appreciation for all the little things he would do without my asking. This got so bad that eventually he stopped doing them. Thanks for shoveling the walks the other morning in sub-zero weather babe and for starting my car so it was defrosted and warm and ready to go! And thanks for putting the subzero windshield wiper fluid in without my even asking - it really came in handy!
* I never mentioned how safe and secure he has always made me feel or how cool it is that he can shoot so well and loves all sorts of guns and even shoots a bow. YOU DA MAN!
* I have not been very good about mentioning what an awesome father he is. He has four amazing daughters - they didn't get to be who they are today without his input and God certainly placed within him a discernment and compassion and great love for his girls. Thanks for being so sensitive and caring and for continuing to pour into their lives to this day!
* I have never told him that I don't want to live without him. That he makes me smile, points me to Jesus, helps me become a better person the longer we're together. He brings a smile to my face and a song to my heart!
* I have been somewhat controlling and manipulative. I thought I had this UNDER CONTROL but sadly - my sinful nature was controlling me and I thought I had to control my husband. Our life would be so much farther along and even a great deal better if I had let him lead! UUGH! I just cringe when I think of some of the things I've said and done that have undermined him, hurt him, broken him. I desire to encourage him and support him and pray the Lord would equip him to be the head of the household as God intended all along. Lord, help me get out of the way!!!
* I have poured into and encouraged many young women along the way, but I never really poured into my husband. It's time. I need to become his biggest cheerleader because he deserves it. He is an amazing man, who has done some awesome things in his lifetime and I'm sure has many more awesome things to accomplish in the years ahead - and I desire to be alongside to see these amazing things as they happen and cheer him on in the process.
How things ever got so off-track, how I ever became so selfish and messed up is a sad state of affairs. My fleshly, sinful nature was run-amok - but I am so thankful the Lord in His goodness and mercy has begun to reveal to me the ugliness of my heart and life and is working on transforming me into a woman after God's heart and a loving, respectful, supportive, encouraging wife. I pray THEY (Daryl & God) never give up on me!! That someday I can gratefully and honestly tout the title "The Good Wife" to His glory!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
THIS IS HOW WE ROLL...
Life has been pretty rough as of late. Things just don't seem to be going as planned...any of it. But God doesn't guarantee that things will go as I planned. He doesn't guarantee I'll even wake up tomorrow morning.
However, He DOES guarantee...
He will never leave me.
He will be with me always - even to the end of time.
He holds me in the palm of His hand.
Nothing can seperate us...NOTHING.
So when things get tough around here what do we do?
We laugh...then we cry...then we laugh some more. Some people may consider us strange because if there's one thing that can be said about our family - we smile and laugh A LOT. I've even offended some people because I laugh all the time. I don't mean it as an offense. God has just chosen to reveal a side of life to me that some don't see. Maybe I don't take life serious enough. BUT, I do LOVE life. And that's just how we roll.
The sad part of this is that it's how we used to roll. Things have happened this past year that have caused us to laugh a lot less. A heaviness has settled on our hearts and lives that has somehow robbed us of our joy. And we hadn't noticed this until just recently. Daryl and I knew something was wrong, we just couldn't put our finger on it until last night when he sauntered into the kitchen and said he'd figured something out. We are missing our JOY!
So where did it go? How did it slip from our home? It's as if it slowly frittered away without us even realizing it! But I don't think it happened slowly - I think JOY just packed it up and skeedaddled. Where did our joy come from? How do we get it back?
I know the Lord provided our home with a great deal of joy. When we were more focused on Him and serving Him things bounced along at a tigger pace with a great deal of joy. Nothing could touch us - that's how we rolled or rather bounced along. Things began their decline when the stresses of life closed in around us. We couldn't sell our home. We had family struggles. We worked hard.
We dove into retail therapy for our relief rather than our Bibles.
But the Bible tells us to SEEK FIRST the Kingdom of God. It says if we SEEK Him we will find Him. It says to cast your cares upon the Lord for He cares for you. It talks about focusing on the heavenly things and the things of this world will dim by comparison.
So...it's time for us to refocus. To seek Him first and rekindle the JOY of our salvation. It's time for JOY to move back into our home. We need to do this so that we can get back into life as it should be because this is how we roll!!!
However, He DOES guarantee...
He will never leave me.
He will be with me always - even to the end of time.
He holds me in the palm of His hand.
Nothing can seperate us...NOTHING.
So when things get tough around here what do we do?
We laugh...then we cry...then we laugh some more. Some people may consider us strange because if there's one thing that can be said about our family - we smile and laugh A LOT. I've even offended some people because I laugh all the time. I don't mean it as an offense. God has just chosen to reveal a side of life to me that some don't see. Maybe I don't take life serious enough. BUT, I do LOVE life. And that's just how we roll.
The sad part of this is that it's how we used to roll. Things have happened this past year that have caused us to laugh a lot less. A heaviness has settled on our hearts and lives that has somehow robbed us of our joy. And we hadn't noticed this until just recently. Daryl and I knew something was wrong, we just couldn't put our finger on it until last night when he sauntered into the kitchen and said he'd figured something out. We are missing our JOY!
So where did it go? How did it slip from our home? It's as if it slowly frittered away without us even realizing it! But I don't think it happened slowly - I think JOY just packed it up and skeedaddled. Where did our joy come from? How do we get it back?
I know the Lord provided our home with a great deal of joy. When we were more focused on Him and serving Him things bounced along at a tigger pace with a great deal of joy. Nothing could touch us - that's how we rolled or rather bounced along. Things began their decline when the stresses of life closed in around us. We couldn't sell our home. We had family struggles. We worked hard.
We dove into retail therapy for our relief rather than our Bibles.
But the Bible tells us to SEEK FIRST the Kingdom of God. It says if we SEEK Him we will find Him. It says to cast your cares upon the Lord for He cares for you. It talks about focusing on the heavenly things and the things of this world will dim by comparison.
So...it's time for us to refocus. To seek Him first and rekindle the JOY of our salvation. It's time for JOY to move back into our home. We need to do this so that we can get back into life as it should be because this is how we roll!!!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
IN CHRIST ALONE
It has been a long heavy five months. I never knew something could become all-consuming. This thing...it's become more of an "elephant in the room," a constant feeling of failure, a constant reminder of my own past that has come back to haunt me in many ways.
As I reflected back on the past year I see how I have allowed this situation to take over and almost impede progress. Not a healthy perspective but I'm being honest here. I have struggled miserably with my own heart, my own relationship with God, my relationship with my family. But before I have everybody depressed let me move on to the beautiful things that have come from all this...
You see, when a person sits back and reflects on the year as a whole - there are glimpses of beauty among the ashes! And we had tons!!! I have to attribute the beauty to the only One who could possibly bring forth any form of beauty from all we've been through this year - and that is Christ Alone! Yes - He is fully and completely responsible for making this a year of new beginnings and fresh starts.
I moved to North Dakota with trepidation. Without any anticipation of anything other than cold. And I have found plenty of cold. But with the cold comes these amazing snow falls - the kind where the snow is so heavy and moist it collects on the tree branches, the telephone poles, the electrical lines and leaves the surroundings looking like a veritable winter wonderland. (Makes me wish I had snow shoes and a snow mobile!) This same snow reflects the sunlight and leaves me wishing I hadn't left my sunglasses at home because it is so wonderfully bright! The cold leaves me appreciating the days we break into the teens! And loving the heatwave we've had the last couple days because we actually hit 30 degrees! (Unseasonably warm!)
With the move has come new friendships formed. An unlikely female coworker who has turned out to be a huge blessing, who is like iron-sharpening-iron and one who knows her Bible so deeply and personally she's put me to shame! I've also made friends with some distant friends and relatives I might never have known without the move. Chance meetings at the Dakota Mall and impromptu lunches. Precious new friends who email or text out of the blue just to say "hi". Others who mention jewelry parties on their facebook to help promote Women At Risk and the ministry they stand for. And then there are the unlikely friendships with the guys that work for the company. These guys that put in 12-18 hour days, live for months away from family, give up so much of themselves and live out a seemingly lonely existence here in cold country. My goal at work is to touch their lives in a positive fashion and show the love of Jesus in some way-shape-or-form so that they might someday know Him. Or if they already do, give them a ray of sunshine in their day. Apparently it's worked for several texted me at random over the holidays wishing me and my family a Merry Christmas. God is good!
With the move has come great challenges to my former Christian bubble existence. The bubble has definitely popped and reality settled in quickly. August brought about the greatest reality check that left our family reeling. In December came the realization that we had allowed the situation to consume us and devastate us and keep us from moving forward and living for Jesus. I took time to reflect on this and made the decision that I would not let this continue. It was time to move forward, to get my eyes back on the goal. To refocus my heart on heavenly things and let the things of this world dim by comparison. And as I began to move forward an even more wonderful gift unfolded before my very eyes...
A deeper, revitalized, unbelievably sweet relationship with my precious man. I never knew it would take such trials and tribulations to move us to this level of intimacy in our relationship. One that shows a great deal of respect for each other. One that allows us to encourage one another to love and good deeds. One that enables us to touch one another's hearts in ways we never have before. This on the cusp of empty nest. Such beauty is unfathomable and rich.
Lord you ARE good and Your mercy DOES endure forever. And I am SO grateful for all You've allowed us to go through this past year and look forward to all You have for us in the years to come!
In Christ alone my hope is found - He is my light, my strength my song.
This Cornerstone, this solid ground. Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace.
When fears are stilled. When strivings cease.
My comforter, my all in all, here in the love of Christ I stand!
HAPPY, BLESSED, JOY-FILLED, PEACEFUL NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!
As I reflected back on the past year I see how I have allowed this situation to take over and almost impede progress. Not a healthy perspective but I'm being honest here. I have struggled miserably with my own heart, my own relationship with God, my relationship with my family. But before I have everybody depressed let me move on to the beautiful things that have come from all this...
You see, when a person sits back and reflects on the year as a whole - there are glimpses of beauty among the ashes! And we had tons!!! I have to attribute the beauty to the only One who could possibly bring forth any form of beauty from all we've been through this year - and that is Christ Alone! Yes - He is fully and completely responsible for making this a year of new beginnings and fresh starts.
I moved to North Dakota with trepidation. Without any anticipation of anything other than cold. And I have found plenty of cold. But with the cold comes these amazing snow falls - the kind where the snow is so heavy and moist it collects on the tree branches, the telephone poles, the electrical lines and leaves the surroundings looking like a veritable winter wonderland. (Makes me wish I had snow shoes and a snow mobile!) This same snow reflects the sunlight and leaves me wishing I hadn't left my sunglasses at home because it is so wonderfully bright! The cold leaves me appreciating the days we break into the teens! And loving the heatwave we've had the last couple days because we actually hit 30 degrees! (Unseasonably warm!)
With the move has come new friendships formed. An unlikely female coworker who has turned out to be a huge blessing, who is like iron-sharpening-iron and one who knows her Bible so deeply and personally she's put me to shame! I've also made friends with some distant friends and relatives I might never have known without the move. Chance meetings at the Dakota Mall and impromptu lunches. Precious new friends who email or text out of the blue just to say "hi". Others who mention jewelry parties on their facebook to help promote Women At Risk and the ministry they stand for. And then there are the unlikely friendships with the guys that work for the company. These guys that put in 12-18 hour days, live for months away from family, give up so much of themselves and live out a seemingly lonely existence here in cold country. My goal at work is to touch their lives in a positive fashion and show the love of Jesus in some way-shape-or-form so that they might someday know Him. Or if they already do, give them a ray of sunshine in their day. Apparently it's worked for several texted me at random over the holidays wishing me and my family a Merry Christmas. God is good!
With the move has come great challenges to my former Christian bubble existence. The bubble has definitely popped and reality settled in quickly. August brought about the greatest reality check that left our family reeling. In December came the realization that we had allowed the situation to consume us and devastate us and keep us from moving forward and living for Jesus. I took time to reflect on this and made the decision that I would not let this continue. It was time to move forward, to get my eyes back on the goal. To refocus my heart on heavenly things and let the things of this world dim by comparison. And as I began to move forward an even more wonderful gift unfolded before my very eyes...
A deeper, revitalized, unbelievably sweet relationship with my precious man. I never knew it would take such trials and tribulations to move us to this level of intimacy in our relationship. One that shows a great deal of respect for each other. One that allows us to encourage one another to love and good deeds. One that enables us to touch one another's hearts in ways we never have before. This on the cusp of empty nest. Such beauty is unfathomable and rich.
Lord you ARE good and Your mercy DOES endure forever. And I am SO grateful for all You've allowed us to go through this past year and look forward to all You have for us in the years to come!
In Christ alone my hope is found - He is my light, my strength my song.
This Cornerstone, this solid ground. Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace.
When fears are stilled. When strivings cease.
My comforter, my all in all, here in the love of Christ I stand!
HAPPY, BLESSED, JOY-FILLED, PEACEFUL NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
THERE IS LIGHT!
I've just met Emily at Her blog - Chatting at the Sky
From what I've read, I think we may be kindred spirits...to some extent at least. She has something she does every first Tuesday - she opens her blogs to posts from other women who have something to share.
It's the "celebrating" part of the statement that caught my attention, for at this time in my life I'm feeling more the "messy and the unexpected" over the lovely.
Life truly can catch us unaware. It can trample us under foot. It can leave us broken, wounded, and in complete despair. At least that's what the enemy would love to see happen. He's been shooting flaming arrow after flaming arrow until that just wasn't enough and he decided to come in like a roaring lion and threaten to tear our family to shreds.
His attempts have shaken our world. Our happy little home has been wounded, but that doesn't mean it won't heal. There are days when I am reduced to tears by the prospect of another day of dealing with what has happened and wondering if I can really manage to go to work and act as if nothing is wrong. But I manage. There are nights when I lay next to my husband, a true warrior - one who never really cries - and I wonder if I should tell him he cries in his sleep? Heart wrenching to say the least.
But I'm not writing this to have a pity party. No...I am writing this to share that in the midst of darkness there is always LIGHT. It's true! I've seen it, day-after-day.
Every morning whether I want it to or not the sun STILL comes up.
There is light.
Every day my daughters still laugh and smile and even the mischevious gleam in their eyes are back.
There is light.
Every day I awake next to my amazing man and am so thankful he is here and every day I walk out in the brisk North Dakota cold and remember how good it is to breathe!
There is light.
Every day I snuggle up in my favorite corner of our soft leather couch (yes...it's a "weathered leather" and it's glorious and so comfy it literally SNUGGLES you!) I grab my favorite book (my NLT Bible) and my journal and I spend time with my best friend. Here is where I find strength for the journey. It is here that I see truth and light and gear up for the battle ahead.
There is Light!
I love skyping with my eldest daughter and seeing my precious Hannah as she dances and sings as only an 18-month-old can do. It is incredible watching her grow leaps and bounds and seeing how carefree her life is. I love anticipating the appearance of my new grandbaby. I love seeing my Kenzi make friends here in lonely North Dakota and "get a life." I love little blessings that the Lord chooses to give us when we least expect it. There is light.
For I have found that when you realize that the battle is not yours but the Lord's, your load is lightened and you can once again focus on the important things in life. "For My yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light." (Matt. 11:30)
Yes, my life is messy and yes, the unexpected hit with a vengeance - but we are hanging on and we are grateful for every moment we have because the battle belongs to the Lord and in Him THERE IS LIGHT!
From what I've read, I think we may be kindred spirits...to some extent at least. She has something she does every first Tuesday - she opens her blogs to posts from other women who have something to share.
Life truly can catch us unaware. It can trample us under foot. It can leave us broken, wounded, and in complete despair. At least that's what the enemy would love to see happen. He's been shooting flaming arrow after flaming arrow until that just wasn't enough and he decided to come in like a roaring lion and threaten to tear our family to shreds.
His attempts have shaken our world. Our happy little home has been wounded, but that doesn't mean it won't heal. There are days when I am reduced to tears by the prospect of another day of dealing with what has happened and wondering if I can really manage to go to work and act as if nothing is wrong. But I manage. There are nights when I lay next to my husband, a true warrior - one who never really cries - and I wonder if I should tell him he cries in his sleep? Heart wrenching to say the least.
But I'm not writing this to have a pity party. No...I am writing this to share that in the midst of darkness there is always LIGHT. It's true! I've seen it, day-after-day.
Every morning whether I want it to or not the sun STILL comes up.
There is light.
Every day my daughters still laugh and smile and even the mischevious gleam in their eyes are back.
There is light.
Every day I awake next to my amazing man and am so thankful he is here and every day I walk out in the brisk North Dakota cold and remember how good it is to breathe!
There is light.
Every day I snuggle up in my favorite corner of our soft leather couch (yes...it's a "weathered leather" and it's glorious and so comfy it literally SNUGGLES you!) I grab my favorite book (my NLT Bible) and my journal and I spend time with my best friend. Here is where I find strength for the journey. It is here that I see truth and light and gear up for the battle ahead.
There is Light!
I love skyping with my eldest daughter and seeing my precious Hannah as she dances and sings as only an 18-month-old can do. It is incredible watching her grow leaps and bounds and seeing how carefree her life is. I love anticipating the appearance of my new grandbaby. I love seeing my Kenzi make friends here in lonely North Dakota and "get a life." I love little blessings that the Lord chooses to give us when we least expect it. There is light.
For I have found that when you realize that the battle is not yours but the Lord's, your load is lightened and you can once again focus on the important things in life. "For My yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light." (Matt. 11:30)
Yes, my life is messy and yes, the unexpected hit with a vengeance - but we are hanging on and we are grateful for every moment we have because the battle belongs to the Lord and in Him THERE IS LIGHT!
Saturday, November 17, 2012
HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER!
It's been a tough road as of late and I'm finding that I have definitely been distracted and have allowed those distractions to take precedence over the important things in life. But God has been gracious and brought some gentle reminders to help me refocus.
One avenue was through allowing me to join the praise and worship team at our new church home. My first opportunity to lead worship with them is this coming Sunday. They're going through a study called "Pure Praise" by Dwayne Moore. The study centers around 2 Chronicles 20. My being a "good student" I decided I would read 2 Chronicles 19 and 20!
Here are the nuggets I pulled from Chapter 19:
* Commit yourself to seeking God. (Right out of the gate He's hitting me hard!! Not that I didn't know I should do this, but maybe I'd sort of forgotten?!?)
* Encourage others to return to Him. (The perfect words of wisdom for this time in my life and something we should probably do everyday with our Christian brothers and sisters.)
* (to the judges) Do not judge to please people but to please the Lord.
* Fear the Lord and judge with integrity.
* You must always act in the fear of the Lord, with faithfulness and an undivided heart.
Here's where I pause.
You must ALWAYS (not sometimes) act in the fear of the Lord. What does it mean to "act in the fear of the Lord"? I did a quick search on biblegateway.com and have come to a rough conclusion that the "fear of the Lord" is a reverence for Him. A high regard for His authority over my life and acting in the fear of the Lord is turning over my control over my life and allowing Him to be in control. Letting Him take the "helm" of my life.
The second part of that verse was more direct - not only am I to act in the fear of the Lord but I'm to do it with faithfulness and an undivided heart. I have done neither one. I have not been faithful and I have allowed the worries of this world, the things of this world, to divide my heart, my alliance to Him.
Moving on...
* You must warn them not to sin against the Lord. (well there it is...I must warn myself and take some time to work through my sinful unfaithfulness and divided heart.)
* Take courage as you fulfill your duties and may the Lord be with those who do what is right.
Wow...so much in one chapter and I still had one more to go...
Chapter 20...When bad news comes WHAT DO YOU DO?
Here's what Jehoshaphat and the people do...
* Terrified by the news, Jehoshaphat begged the Lord for guidance. (he didn't just flippantly ask God or send up a "9-1-1 prayer" - he literally BEGGED God to guide him.)
* He ordered everyone to begin fasting. (without a breath between begging - he directed his people in what they were to do with him.)
* He also ordered them to "come together to seek the Lord's help." (How often do we try to go it alone? The body of Christ is here for us to come together and seek God's wisdom, guidance, and help.)
* He prayed. (this is where I typically fall short. Rather than going to God directly and praying to Him, I usually want to discuss the matter with everybody else around me first.)
* Stand in His presence and honor God.
* Cry out to Him "save us!"
* He will hear you and save you!!
IMPLORE GOD: "We do not know what to do, but we are looking to Your for help." (12)
(In many ways this is exactly where I am at in my life right now. I have no idea what to do Lord! I really am looking to YOU for help.)
Next thing it says is, "Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty enemy, for the battle is NOT YOURS, BUT GOD'S!" (15)
(Oh my goodness...why have I not thought about this? Why didn't I realize that the battle truly is HIS, not mine? In dealing with the principalities and powers of the air - who better to fight the battle than God? How could I be so short-sighted? But it gets better!!!)
"You will not even need to fight. Take up your positions and STAND STILL and watch the Lord's victory! Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow for the Lord is with you."
(We're to take up our position. What position is that? It tells us!)
"Bow low, face to the ground and worship the Lord."
The book "Pure Praise" refers to the word WORSHIP saying it means "to bow down and prostrate yourself before a superior in homage. God is superior. Submitting to Him as our master is the essence of worship."
Just yesterday I came across the word "ADONAI" which is Hebrew for "Master" -
BOW DOWN
FACE THE GROUND
WORSHIP ADONAI!
* PRAISE the Lord with a very loud shout!
* BELIEVE in the Lord your God and you will be able to STAND FIRM.
* BELIEVE in His prophets and you will succeed.
* SING to the Lord and PRAISE Him for His holy splendor.
* GIVE THANKS to the Lord. His faithful love endures forever!!!
Synopsis - stand still and watch. do not be afraid. bow down. face the ground. worship Adonai. praise the Lord. believe in the Lord. stand firm. sing to Him. praise Him. give thanks to Him.
WHY?
Because HIS FAITHFUL LOVE ENDURES FOREVER!
One avenue was through allowing me to join the praise and worship team at our new church home. My first opportunity to lead worship with them is this coming Sunday. They're going through a study called "Pure Praise" by Dwayne Moore. The study centers around 2 Chronicles 20. My being a "good student" I decided I would read 2 Chronicles 19 and 20!
Here are the nuggets I pulled from Chapter 19:
* Commit yourself to seeking God. (Right out of the gate He's hitting me hard!! Not that I didn't know I should do this, but maybe I'd sort of forgotten?!?)
* Encourage others to return to Him. (The perfect words of wisdom for this time in my life and something we should probably do everyday with our Christian brothers and sisters.)
* (to the judges) Do not judge to please people but to please the Lord.
* Fear the Lord and judge with integrity.
* You must always act in the fear of the Lord, with faithfulness and an undivided heart.
Here's where I pause.
You must ALWAYS (not sometimes) act in the fear of the Lord. What does it mean to "act in the fear of the Lord"? I did a quick search on biblegateway.com and have come to a rough conclusion that the "fear of the Lord" is a reverence for Him. A high regard for His authority over my life and acting in the fear of the Lord is turning over my control over my life and allowing Him to be in control. Letting Him take the "helm" of my life.
The second part of that verse was more direct - not only am I to act in the fear of the Lord but I'm to do it with faithfulness and an undivided heart. I have done neither one. I have not been faithful and I have allowed the worries of this world, the things of this world, to divide my heart, my alliance to Him.
Moving on...
* You must warn them not to sin against the Lord. (well there it is...I must warn myself and take some time to work through my sinful unfaithfulness and divided heart.)
* Take courage as you fulfill your duties and may the Lord be with those who do what is right.
Wow...so much in one chapter and I still had one more to go...
Chapter 20...When bad news comes WHAT DO YOU DO?
Here's what Jehoshaphat and the people do...
* Terrified by the news, Jehoshaphat begged the Lord for guidance. (he didn't just flippantly ask God or send up a "9-1-1 prayer" - he literally BEGGED God to guide him.)
* He ordered everyone to begin fasting. (without a breath between begging - he directed his people in what they were to do with him.)
* He also ordered them to "come together to seek the Lord's help." (How often do we try to go it alone? The body of Christ is here for us to come together and seek God's wisdom, guidance, and help.)
* He prayed. (this is where I typically fall short. Rather than going to God directly and praying to Him, I usually want to discuss the matter with everybody else around me first.)
* Stand in His presence and honor God.
* Cry out to Him "save us!"
* He will hear you and save you!!
IMPLORE GOD: "We do not know what to do, but we are looking to Your for help." (12)
(In many ways this is exactly where I am at in my life right now. I have no idea what to do Lord! I really am looking to YOU for help.)
Next thing it says is, "Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty enemy, for the battle is NOT YOURS, BUT GOD'S!" (15)
(Oh my goodness...why have I not thought about this? Why didn't I realize that the battle truly is HIS, not mine? In dealing with the principalities and powers of the air - who better to fight the battle than God? How could I be so short-sighted? But it gets better!!!)
"You will not even need to fight. Take up your positions and STAND STILL and watch the Lord's victory! Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow for the Lord is with you."
(We're to take up our position. What position is that? It tells us!)
"Bow low, face to the ground and worship the Lord."
The book "Pure Praise" refers to the word WORSHIP saying it means "to bow down and prostrate yourself before a superior in homage. God is superior. Submitting to Him as our master is the essence of worship."
Just yesterday I came across the word "ADONAI" which is Hebrew for "Master" -
BOW DOWN
FACE THE GROUND
WORSHIP ADONAI!
* PRAISE the Lord with a very loud shout!
* BELIEVE in the Lord your God and you will be able to STAND FIRM.
* BELIEVE in His prophets and you will succeed.
* SING to the Lord and PRAISE Him for His holy splendor.
* GIVE THANKS to the Lord. His faithful love endures forever!!!
Synopsis - stand still and watch. do not be afraid. bow down. face the ground. worship Adonai. praise the Lord. believe in the Lord. stand firm. sing to Him. praise Him. give thanks to Him.
WHY?
Because HIS FAITHFUL LOVE ENDURES FOREVER!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
WHAT IS THE CENTER OF YOUR HOME?
Kenzi, Sara and I chose to venture out yesterday and head to Minot. Snow was blowing, temps were right at 20 degrees out and the windshield kept freezing up. Aside from that and the semi with his empty trailer in the ditch, it was a rather uneventful jaunt. We decided to hit Hobby Lobby - wanted to pickup a craft project for the night. There we found a plethora of home decor on sale for 50% off! There were baskets, wood crates, vintage suitcases, wood plaques, metal plaques, wire sculptures, you name. But in the wood plaque aisle there were a couple particular wall hangings that caught my eye. One quoted Exodus 14:14, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." So much I could talk about regarding that one part of scripture but the one most heavy on my heart is the one I've pictured here. "Christ the center of our Home." In many ways I believe we STRIVE for this but in several ways our home has fallen short in this area as of late.
I was inspired when I saw that plaque and purchased it to put up on our wall as a declaration that our family truly does make Christ the center of our home. But when I got it in my house and as it sits against the living room wall, I am convicted, broken, sliced to the core of my being with the reality that in fact, He is NOT the center. Most days since relocating to North Dakota, He barely makes the outer perimeter of our home. I was wounded by this realization. My heart is broken, my stomach in knots and my mind is whirling from it.
Where did we go wrong? What happened to this aspect of our home? When did this occur and WHY? (while in Ohio? when we moved to North Dakota?) How did this get so out-of-control? Is it complacency? Is it laziness? Is it rebellion? What really is the state of our home? How did this creep in? and WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!?!
In all honesty, I felt this prior to now and I had been making a more concentrated effort to spend time with the Lord. I have been searching the scriptures. But now I see that I may have been doing it all wrong. Since arriving in North Dakota there has been a deep dark cloud of oppression hanging around our home. It has permeated our lives, blinded us, shrouded us in darkness and despair. I never realized just how deep it ran until now.
The other convicting and sad part of all this is that the Truth of God's Word which is usually an encouragement to me, literally makes me sick to my stomach. I think this is from the enemy. This sick feeling, though it brings about conviction and change - it is an enemy ploy in my life to make me tuck tail and run because I can't face the fact that I must confess my sin and make things right. At times I'm non-confrontational to an extreme and this would normally be one of those extremes.
BUT TODAY...I REFUSE TO LET THE ENEMY HAVE VICTORY!!!
The enemy may think he's moved in and made himself comfortable BUT TODAY I'M SENDING HIM PACKING!
That's right. I'm done. Finished. He has laid siege upon my home, he has tormented and trashed our hearts. He thought he was here for the long haul. Don't even bother packing your bags you nasty bugger. You are GONE. I'm casting you out buddy, on your rear. You are done, you're not welcome here. This family serves the LIVING GOD, the MIGHTY ONE. He's more powerful than you - and A LOT more fun to hang around with!
"God NEVER tempts anyone! Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away...these desires give birth to sinful actions and when SIN is ALLOWED to GROW, it gives BIRTH TO DEATH! So don't be misled! Whatever is GOOD and PERFECT comes from God!" James 1:13-16
"Keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls." 1 Peter 2:11
"So we must LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it!" Hebrews 2:1
Here in lovely North Dakota I must place God before me FRONT & CENTER! I must be DILIGENT to live out my faith. I don't need spiritual milk...I should be beyond that! I need the discipline to pursue Christ with ALL my HEART! SOUL! MIND! and STRENGTH!
...God is light, and there is NO darkness in Him at all! So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. BUT IF WE CONFESS OUR SINS TO HIM, He is FAITHFUL and JUST to FORGIVE US our sins and CLEANSE US from all wickedness. (1 John 1:6-9)
HOW will I do this? I'm so glad you asked!
I'm going to start by "Confess(ing) [my] sins." 1 John 1:9
Wash [myself] and be clean!
Get [my] sins out of [God's] sight.
Give up [my] evil ways.
Learn to do good.
Seek justice.
Isaiah 1:16-17
Live no longer as the Gentiles (those who don't know Jesus) do, for they are hopelessly confused...throw off [my] old sinful nature and [my] former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, LET the SPIRIT RENEW YOUR THOUGHTS and ATTITUDES. Put on [my] new nature, created to be like God - TRULY RIGHTEOUS & HOLY! Ephesians 4:17-18; 22-24
Maybe you will find this an encouragement to you. Maybe you will find it a bit convicting. Whatever direction it sends you, take some time and honestly evaluate where the center of your home is. God finally got me t sit down long enough to ponder this and what I found made me very uncomfortable. Enough that I knew something needs to change. I'm headed a new direction now. Hopeful finally. And I am looking forward to seeing God work in us and through us here in North Dakota!
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