RESTORATION - Praising a God Who Restores

At the age of 28 she was on her second marriage, had three children and was trapped in a life entrenched in lies, cheating and stealing. She justified her actions. She thought she'd never get caught. But he caught her. The man she'd made a covenant marriage vow with. She confessed all to him - not to hurt him, but because she couldn't carry this any longer. She will never forget the pain she saw in his eyes. Pain she knew had forged deep into his very soul. Pain SHE had caused. He gave only one ultimatum. "Never lie to me again." He didn't chastise her, he didn't reason with her, he didn't even ask why she had done it - maybe he was afraid she'd lie some more and didn't want to risk that. He professed his love for her but firmly let her know he would not tolerate lies within their marriage. But truly, it was the pain in the eyes that convicted her more than any words would have. They'd been married for five years. She'd put him through so much during that time and he still clung to whatever minute strand of hope he could find that things would eventually work out.

That Sunday morning in church God broke her. She could not move - she didn't remember the sermon - all she heard was God calling her to give her life and every rotten thing she'd done over to Him. Somehow the pastor even knew. This sweet fundamental baptist church always had an invitation at the end of service, but today it went on for what seemed an eternity in the eyes of the soul that sat wrestling between the pull of the world and the gentle touch of the Spirit. About the fourth time through "I Surrender All" she moved, slowly, hesitantly, not knowing what to expect but desperately needing something to change. As she prayed, change came. Slow and deliberate - the Spirit began to sooth the anxious soul, mend the shattered heart, heal the broken marriage and tenderly pour life back in. THIS is RESTORATION. THIS is the beauty in the life-giving, life-changing, power of the Savior. Marriage restored. Life restored. Family restored. Future restored. All done by a GOD who RESTORES!

21 years later that same woman now celebrates with great joy 26 years of marriage to a man that never gave up on her! 21 years later she's celebrating a God that took a wretch and transformed her into someone who loves others, and desires to share her love for God with them. She's not perfect, she still struggles and she knows she has a long way to go - but she has hope, joy, peace, and a husband and a God that she can always rely on!

PONDERING THE PROMISE (When God Makes a Promise...He Keeps It!)

Today is Day 12 of the 40 Days of Praise Challenge. It's been an interesting ride so far! I've learned so much about God through the depth of the Scriptures that I had not forged before and through the encouragement of the women that are traveling this road with me!

Rather than being vague - I will be completely transparent. There have been many challenges in my life that would present opportunity for the Lord to be my comforter. Those include several moves where I found myself engulfed in loneliness and steeped in depression. They include turning over my children to the Lord at various times in their lives during some trying and yes even some rebellious moments. Moments where they were injured, car accidents, and even a time where one ran away and left my heart broken and in unimaginable pain. Grieving over choices made and painful consequences. It was God's comfort and grace that saw me through those moments but the most challenging time in my life is the health issues I have been dealing with for more than five years now. Debilitating illness that left me nearly bedridden for several months and in so much pain throughout my entire body that I threw myself at His feet for comfort and relief. 

While reading Psalm 119:48-52, I zeroed in on the word "PROMISE". I don't know why but the pull to communicate a little more clearly what the Psalmist is talking about here was strong. We all know that God made promises to his people and I have professed my faith in Him in the keeping of those promises, but have never felt so driven to be able to articulate this more clearly than now. Our hope and our comfort are found here...the promise, that we would be reconciled to God. 

Hebrews 9 declares the first covenant between God and Israel had regulations for worship that were very specific - including the measurements and technical elements involved with the building of the tabernacle to the particular sacrifices to be made for the atonement of the sins of men. There were two rooms - one was called the Holy Place, the other the Most Holy Place. (Read Hebrews 9:1-5) The priests were required to regularly enter and perform religious duties. But only the high priest ever entered the Most Holy Place, and only once a year. There he made blood offerings for his own sins and the sins of the people. "The Most Holy Place was not freely open...the gifts and sacrifices that the priests offer are not able to cleanse the consciences of the people who bring them." (He. 9:8-9) These physical regulations were in effect only until a "better system" could be established. "So Christ has now become the High Priest over all the good things that have come. He has entered that greater more perfect Tabernacle in heaven, which was not made by human hands and is not part of this created world. With his own blood, not the blood of goats and calves - he entered the Most Holy place once for all time and secured our redemption forever! For Christ did not enter into a holy place made with human hands, which was only a copy of the true one in heaven. He entered into heaven itself to appear now before God on our behalf...once and for all he has appeared at the end of the age to remove sin by his own death as a sacrifice. Christ died once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people. He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for him." (Heb. 9:11-28)

"And so dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven's Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God's house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise." Hebrews 10:19-24 NLT 

Could not have said this better myself. Seriously, the Word of God has all this and more and I think I get so busy with life I don't focus in on the important, life-transforming word's within this book. There's beautiful communion to be found with our Lord when we take the time to humbly sift through the pages of our Bible and focus in on the many aspects within that relate to our Creator and His chosen people. Our COMFORT is truly found in His promises and that is why I believe God tugged at my heart to dig deeper into His Promise! Praying you found comfort in these truths as well! 

The Art of Learning to Delight in Him

It's been an interesting few days. Only 4 days into the 40 Days of Praise challenge (#7xfor40days) and I am finding such a richness and depth of fellowship with my Savior that I never dreamed possible. I am gleaning understanding into the richness of His Word. I am finding out things about myself that I need to work on. I am finding out things about myself that I praise God for. All around it's been amazing AND there are still another 36 days to go! WOO HOO!

God has richly blessed this endeavor and we have an incredible group of 218 people participating in some way with this challenge! When I created the Facebook group - I never dreamt it would grow to 218 people. In the group I am sharing devotionals centered around my quiet time. Yesterday's text Psalm 119: 13-16 had so much to it, I could not fit it into a single devotional - so I thought I would recap here and share some more...hope you don't mind! :)

Yesterday we looked at DELIGHTING IN HIM. We found out that delight meant captivated, enthralled, to have joy in something, in this case - God. However, the full passage reads more like this (I have combined NLT & [ESV] to give a fuller, richer context.)

"I have recited aloud [declared] all the regulations [rules of your mouth] you have given us. I have rejoiced in [delighted in the ways of] your law as much as riches. I will study [meditate on] your commandments and reflect [fix my eyes] on your ways. I will delight in your decrees and [I will] not forget your word." (Psalm 119:13-16)

In studying this passage - I started out with my focus on verse 16 - where it clearly states, "I will not forget your word."
"Word" in this instance is the Hebrew term 'imrah - this term is directly correlated to being pure (unmixed, unalloyed, refined, purified, purged) which answers the question in 119:9 - in this case it draws us back to the previous verses that gives us guidance for refining our lives:

• People of integrity follow the instructions of the Lord. (119:1)
• Obey his laws and search for Him with all their heart. (2)
• Do not compromise with evil and walk only in His paths. (3)
• Keep His commands carefully. (4)
• Acknowledge and pray that their actions would consistently reflect His decrees. (5)
• Compare their lives with His commands and strives not to bring Him shame. (6)
• LEARN the righteous regulations (we will talk about this in a second.) and
• Show our appreciation to Him by living in a manner that glorifies Him. (7)
• Obey His decrees. (8)
• Try hard to find Him - seek Him out. (10)
• Hide His Word in our hearts. (11) 
• Recite aloud all the regulations given to us. (13)
• Rejoice in His laws. (14)
• Study His commands and reflect on His ways. (15)
• Delight in His decrees and not forget His Words. (16)

When God's Word becomes our delight, His presence and deliverance are near and brings us celebrated joy!! If you take a close look at this list of ways that we can "keep our way pure" (9) we find that there is a significant amount of responsibility placed on us. This is not to seem daunting or unattainable - but it is there to show that we have a choice to make - we can choose to obey or be disobedient, we can choose to be careful or careless, we can choose to seek His ways or the world's ways. As we make our choice to follow Him there's a sweetness that comes with that decision. 

In understanding the Art of Learning to Delight in Him, I want to break that list down a little more and offer thoughts on three initial steps that may be put into place to begin to solidify this process of LEARNING this Art. 

If you go back to Psalm 119:13-16 quoted above you will see in verse 13 it talks about RECITING ALOUD, DECLARING ALOUD all His regulations. In the Women's Evangelical Commentary on the Old Testament it says that, "to speak aloud could also indicate rehearsing everything Yahweh says, rejoicing in His testimonies as much as in all riches." It is communicating the idea of learning God's Word by heart. Memorizing Scripture! I have had the privilege of acting in many plays but my largest role had me memorizing 470 lines and 15 songs. I wasn't sure I would be able to accomplish this feat - but God was with me and showed me that the more I recited my lines, the more of them I found I had memorized until at last, they were all memorized. If I can memorize 470 lines, surely I can memorize scripture! Needless to say, this revelations has left me excited to begin rehearsing Scripture!!

STEP ONE 

in our LEARNING process is - to RECITE SCRIPTURE OUT LOUD and MEMORIZE it. 

In verse 15 it talks about STUDYING/MEDITATING on His commandments. Sometimes terminology gets in the way of deeper understanding. For me the words studying and meditating are clear enough but in applying them, I sometimes struggle, because studying sounds rather scholarly and I am no Bible scholar. Meditating sounds a little new-age-ish to me and I have to remind myself that this is God's directive and meditating on His Word is a holy practice. To put it into more practical terms let me say it this way - we should be PONDERING, taking time for some silent reflection over God's Word and asking ourselves how it applies to our lives. 

STEP TWO

is to PONDER God's COMMANDS and APPLY them to our LIVES.

In verse 15 it also mentions REFLECTING on His ways. This is a little different from pondering God's commands in that we are digging into His Word to understand the character and being of God by SPEAKING out loud ABOUT what God has said and done. It's a more intangible FIXING of the EYES in this case as we are gleaning knowledge through the eyes of fellow believers. In doing this we keep our way pure out of a reverent fear for the One who created us in His image. One great way to learn through this process is taking those reflections into a circle of Christian friends and having a sweet time of fellowship discussing these things of God together and foraging through Scripture to back up your understanding. 

STEP THREE

is SPEAK ABOUT what God has SAID and DONE. 

SO to recap - our PROCESS in the Art of Learning to Delight in Him:

1. RECITE SCRIPTURE OUT LOUD
2. PONDER GOD'S COMMANDS AND APPLY THEM TO OUR LIVES
3. SPEAK ABOUT WHAT GOD HAS SAID AND DONE

May these steps find their way into our lives and allow us to become stronger in our walk with the Lord. May His blessings continue to flow in and through each of us as we continue praising Him for 7 times a day for 40 days! 

FOR THOSE WHO MOURN

There's a lot going on in the world. Everyday there are lives lost. We see them, we think of them, we are sorry for them, but for the most part, we don't feel them. Until it's close to home.

I'm at that age now where we're watching the home-going of many friends parents and grandparents. I am keenly aware of the flood of emotions that the grief of this separation brings. I've experienced grief at it's depths. I never knew how deeply it penetrated until I found myself in the midst of it. I believe God allowed this experience that I may know and understand others pain and be compassionate towards them. But with this understanding comes the thought of - why would God want us to experience such a depth of grief as this?

Our Creator is a passionate, emotional God. He's not some gavel wielding judge sitting up there in heaven looking down on his creation without thought of all we're going through. Even his Son who walked the earth, took on the form of man (emotions and all) felt deeply, was moved to compassion, grieved so passionately he sweat blood. God weeps for his children. He knows our pain. We were created in HIS image. So, I believe it's natural that we should possess the same emotional infrastructure that our Lord has. He longs for us to love deeply, to have compassion on his creation, to desire to be in relationship - without all this emotional circuitry we would not have a desire for relationship with HIM. Though it comes with a price, it is a bittersweet reminder of all that we have.

Without those emotional bonds we would not miss those we love, we would not even love them. We would simply exist and walk through life numb to all it's beauty and grace.

Today a friend lost his wife suddenly, a heart attack. They are both extremely hard working, honest, good people. They worked hard for everything they have. They love their children and provide so much for them and want to see them succeed in life. They have sacrificed so much for their family. But today, his world has been turned upside-down. Today, he knows grief as he's never experienced before. Today, just months from retirement, his best friend is gone. It reminds me of Ecclesiastes where it talks of meaningless pursuits in chapters 1 and 2. In chapter 4 he talks about the advantages of companionship.

  "Two people are better off than one, 

for they can help each other succeed."

(Ecclesiastes 4:9)

 This epitomizes this couple. They were a formidable pair - each one encouraging the other on to success. "A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer." They have done this. They have conquered much in their lifetime. Their children are their legacy. But without emotional attachment, this never would have been possible.

So through all of this I am reminded that everything has a season. We are all in various seasons of life - we all have responsibilities specific to that season we're in. There really are no shortcuts in life - and if there were, we would miss out on the richness of the journey!

"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance..." Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

My friend may have lost his love, but the legacy they have built throughout their life still stands. Their children will gather round him and mourn with him and they will share stories of how she lived life to the full, how she loved greatly, how she worked hard. They will know that for all the seasons she journeyed, she gave everything she had. It doesn't ease the pain of separation, the suddenness of the loss, but a life well lived is a blessing at these times - for the fullness and joy of their passion for living prevails in the hearts of those they loved.

For those who mourn - it becomes an ebb and flow. Our society does not allow for grieving. It's sad. The Jewish people have a better grasp on mourning - knowing that it must take place in community or the person may be sucked down into the depths of their despair. They have a plan - they allow the person to grieve deeply and quietly alone - for a little while. Then the family and community share in the grief and gather round them. They walk through this initial time of grieving for an entire year. They know that this is the hardest time for them. They see to it that the grieving one is encouraged to engage in life again over time. It's not required of them to participate in all things and they don't expect them to always be smiling and act as if everything is okay - however, they are supported and encouraged to share their struggles and not seclude themselves.

There are things that remind me of the one I loved and lost. There are times I struggle through the memories and tears will occasionally sneak out and other times I cry me a river - literally. I can't make it stop and in some ways I don't want to. I just need it to wash over my soul and renew me. There is strength in those tears, strength to keep moving forward, strength to keep living - so don't make someone grieving stop crying. Give them your shoulder instead. Grab some tissues and join them. Hold their hand and quietly sit with them and let them refresh their soul.

THROW OFF THE OLD SELF...

How many times have I read this passage...

"Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life..." Ephesians 4:22

Every time I read it I'm like - YEA! That's right, I did that - 20+ years ago! Right on!

Today when I read it - I realized I've been THROWING OFF my old self on a regular basis since I turned my life over to my Savior!

How is it that whenever I read this I always think back to the day I turned my life over and relinquished all control (or imagined control)  and gave it into the hands of my Savior?

Why is it that I tend to think of all the awful blatantly sinful things I USED to do - like lying, cheating, stealing...you name it!

But TODAY I am looking at this verse and what comes to mind is all the times pride has tainted my understanding of this particular verse.

Why YES! I HAVE thrown off my old sinful nature - but...there have been times where I've had AHA! life transforming moments where more subtle forms of sin have crept back in and I am needing to "clean house".

So for me to think this old nature and former way of life thing is a one-time deal is ignorance on my part.

Because unless I am HOLDING UNSWERVINGLY to the hope I profess and solidly fixing my eyes on Him, casting all cares of this world aside for something greater, something unseen...well...I will struggle with the flesh!

If you're living for Jesus...striving to do His kingdom work...then you will understand just how fierce the battle truly is. It doesn't get easier the more focused on God you are, but in that devotion, in that discipline you'll find the strength to stand!

That is why we must be ready and willing to throw off that old sinful nature at ALL times - to relinquish our former way of life - you see, as we are sanctified through Christ on our earthly journey we are transformed. Our minds are renewed and our former ways challenged to develop into the image of Christ. So even in my renewed state as a young Christian, each year of growth, each step of the journey, I learn more and more of who Jesus is and what living with Him at the center of my life actually entails.

With each growth spurt comes the opportunity to release the "former way" (the old me that didn't understand a concept of Christian living, but now I do).

My thinking is skewed by my past and what I may envision this Christian walk to be may not always be Biblically sound and I must diligently persist in the pursuit of a transformed mind that continues to be molded and shaped more and more into the mind of Christ.

In this life we will never know the depth of who God is but we must always be searching for more of Him on a moment by moment basis. A more intimate knowledge of Him awaits each of us.

And we should always be ready and willing to throw off the old sinful nature and former way of life!

"Awake O sleeper, raise up from the dead and Christ will give you light.

So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools,

but like those who are wise. 

Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.

Don't act thoughtlessly, but 

Understand what the Lord wants you to do..."

Ephesians 5:14-17

"For you died to this life and your real life is

hidden with Christ in God!"

Colossians 3:3

"Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do,

because you are his dear children.

Live a life filled with love,

following the example of Christ.

He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us,

a pleasing aroma to God."

Ephesians 5:1-2

So what part of your sinful nature are you needing to throw off today?? 

No need to comment - just take it before the Lord.

How My Search for MORE is Leading to LESS

Apparently when a person hits a certain age there is a paradigm shift in their thinking. The early years were spent living life as though one were invincible, as though a person would live forever without a care in the world. My egocentric self was consumed with finding what I wanted, what was best for me and so on. With marriage and children came the formidable years marked with raw survival techniques and massive wound licking. It seems as though we were in uncharted territory. Newly Christian and uncertain how to live it out the pendulum would swing widely conservative, then oddly permissive and after some years obtain a more stable, middle-of-the-road, less fanatical stance. Those years were lovely yet chaotic. As the daughters grew and began leaving the nest and my health began to fail in ways I'd never dreamt possible I became more introspective. What was I doing with my life? Who am I living for? Am I even making a difference? And the scope of my existence honed in on my inability to achieve a peaceful environment. As the world around grows more and more out of whack, my desire for some form of peaceful inhabitance increased.

With the advent of my health crisis came newly chartered waters that have led to my now esoteric life. Esoteric is such an amazing word that beautifully describes my current life in a nutshell, "intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest." Questions were raised - "Why are you on such a strict diet?" "What do you mean you only take supplements and not the seventeen prescribed medications from your doctors?" "How do you manage to afford eating only grass-fed beef and organic vegetation?" "You fly from North Dakota to Denver to see a Field Control Therapist (whatever that is...) so you use tinctures that look like water and detox your system how?" The list goes on. Yes my life is only understood by a small number of people and even those closest to me scratch their head but see the difference it's made in my quality of life so they support it. But with all the changes in my lifestyle, I've yet to find my "happy place". Sounds selfish I know. But truly - my search is to gain a place of respite for my family's soul while offering a place for the Lord to come in and transform our lives and use us to reach a lost and dying world with His message of hope. It's hard to do on a limited supply of energy, especially when it's all spent on cleaning my house and all it's meaningless content.

We are a consumeristic society. Believe me, I've consumed my share and more. It is a harsh reality that has slapped me in the face in the recent months. Over five years ago God began working on my heart to SIMPLIFY my life. Had I listened then, things would be much easier now. But I'm not the quick study that some people are. It takes awhile to wrap my stubborn head around new things - change may come easy but change for the positive has never been my forte. I am really good at getting stuck in ruts and I found myself close to six foot under when the realization that the way I've been living just was not working for me anymore.

Enter the Minimalist ideal. For the past two years I've been studying the theory behind minimalism, slowly exercising the principles presented. My initial reaction was to horde. Horde it all! I have a library of books that many people only dream off. I could fill the entire basement wall of a 2000 square foot ranch style home with them. There are an unending supply of tubs filled with books - glorious books. But my voracious appetite for knowledge could only be filled in a very small window of time so most of my glorious books have never been cracked. Just picked up off the shelf and stroked with wonder and awe at what might be contained within them. (This is an area I've been working on...)

Another area that clearly was an issue was my BAG habit! How did I know it was an issue? My nickname was "The Bag Lady." Clear sign there was a problem. So I thinned that area of life out and have limited myself to about 15 favorites. Still excessive but somewhat justifiable. Definitely a work in progress.

North Dakota has been a good move for my health but hard on the pocketbook. Somehow amidst the craziness of what is the Bakken a guilt that we brought our daughters into what felt like the middle of nowhere and our only escape being the big town trips to Minot or Bismarck (which were way too frequent) we fell into the horrible trap of retail therapy. We had left behind what would have been deemed the simpler life of Ohio where shopping was so convenient we took it for granted and moved to a place where shopping could only be had on weekends and a strange sense of urgency for a shopping fix consumed us for about a year and a half. It was shameful. I'm not proud of where we found ourselves but in the midst of all this I have honestly FOUND MYSELF. And in the finding I am implementing a battle plan for the new house - the new lifestyle - the newfound search for MORE that is leading to LESS.

So I'm learning the art of minimalistic living, consuming books on the topic, digesting thoughts and ideas. I have come to the conclusion that the peaceful existence I seek IS found in simplicity and have been blessed by the resources I've discovered on the topic. Currently I'm reading/studying two books that I will implement from theory to practicality as I unpack my 25 years of overwhelming cargo into my new home. Marie Kondo's book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (the Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing) and Jen Haymaker's 7 - an Experimental Mutiny Against Excess are my new arsenal against consumeristic living. I pray you will indulge me as I post about my discoveries on this journey to becoming more by living with less!

JEALOUS MUCH?

Sometimes I flippantly say things often enough they begin to shore themselves up within my heart creating negative thought patterns and before I realize it - sin has crept into my life in the form of seemingly innocent statements.  The more time I spend with the Lord the more I see how these things manifest themselves in my life and how I need to clean house every-so-often. Just as my Catholic upbringing required the sacrament of reconciliation - so to, in my daily walk with the Lord - there is that need to reflect and confess on the sin that creeps into my life.

Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but JEALOUSY is even MORE DANGEROUS! Proverbs 27:4

JEALOUSY...ENVY...
both lead to discontentment. And both had crept into my heart and were making a comfy home of it.

The sad part about jealousy and envy is the fact that they can lead us to mentally slaughter the source. I have recently been convicted of this sin in my life. I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed as I do way too often throughout the day. I came across one of the usual posts of a friend on a beach vacation enjoying their time and photo journaling their fun. My comment on their post was one word, "jealous." Though I thought I was being playful, the Lord pricked my heart and caused me to pause and reflect.

As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person. Proverbs 27:19

I was flooded with conviction as my heart's sinful state was revealed. I thought I was just being silly when in all actuality I was exactly as the word stated...JEALOUS!

I was also dealing with ENVY. 

Just as Death and Destruction are never satisfied, so human desire is never satisfied. Psalm 27:20

These were not traits I wanted harbored in my heart. I much preferred being a light - someone who exhibits love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. Yeah - I want to be like that...NOT jealous and envious. 

The state of jealousy and envy in my heart were causing me to question God's goodness towards me. Who am I to downplay another person's good fortune by telling them I'm "JEALOUS" and by doing that claim God wasn't being good to me? 

I have been thoroughly chastised in every good way! I am so thankful that God takes the time to reveal the dark corners of my heart where sin is lurking and by his grace and mercy clear it out. 

We all have good fortune in our life and we were all made for the purpose of loving God and loving his people. Jealousy and envy have no place in that. 

Before I logged out of Facebook I still commented on my friend's post saying, "I am so happy for you!" My heart was lighter, my smile was genuine and my day was brighter!