50 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED AND LOVED IN 50 YEARS OF LIFE

I turn 50 on Friday! I am trying to embrace this next half of my life with exuberance. If I live as long as my Memere - I still have another 52 years to go! SO...thought I'd share a few things I've learned and loved about the first 1/2 century of my life...

1. I love the fact that I was born in Japan...at an Airforce Base...that no longer exists.
2. I loved growing up in Aurora, Colorado during the 70's and 80's.
3. I absolutely loved playing "Little House on the Prairie" with Helen Lawler. (I was short, had buck teeth so I was always half-pint.)
4. I learned that I could ride my bike for a bit of a distance - like to the Aurora Mall (8 miles round trip) or to church (18 miles round trip) - however I can't do it anymore...remember, Ohio, bike trip fail - too late at night, bike path was dark and barely made it to the ice cream shop - but enjoyed that ice cream and a CAR ride home from friends.
5. I love that my Catholic education afforded me amazing grammar teachers who beat those rules into my head so soundly that I still know them today. (Thanks Mrs. Blair)
6. I've learned that I am somewhat naive and gullible...still.
7. I learned that being a single parent is HARD WORK (even though my tour was brief.)
8. I learned that WORDS become ingrained in a soul and cause you to do things that don't make sense. It's hard to get them out once they're in. 
9. I've learned that GOD IS GOOD.
10. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE living in small towns.
11. I love nature walks. (not hikes...just walks...)
12. I love sunrises and sunsets - the beauty, the colors, love it all!
13. I learned that prayers of righteous people prevail (and help bring you to a saving knowledge of Jesus. Thanks Glenella!)
14. I learned GOD IS PERSISTENT.
15. I learned that once you drink of the Living Water you have an insatiable desire for more...not thirsty, but longing! 
16. I have learned that we are going to make mistakes in life - lots of them - always ask for forgiveness and take responsibility for them. 
17. I learned that staying HUMBLE is hard work! 
18. I love God's beauty displayed in nature. 
19. I learned to always rise to challenges presented and give God the glory.
20. I learned that I NEED JESUS!
21. I've learned if you think you can't you're probably right, however, HE can! 
22. I love that when I'm living for Him my life is NEVER boring!
23. I love young people and their energy and exuberance are contagious. 
24. I love photography...of abstract items and candids of people.
25. I learned that 25 years of marriage is a huge milestone that should be celebrated. :)
26. I love having four daughters - it's a blessing and I am sad for the people who feel sorry for us. (If only they could have seen our amazing family!)
27. I learned that when moving across country you must PURGE (done it twice - SO FREEING!)
28. I've learned that SIMPLICITY is also freeing. 
29. I love adventures on random backroads through ghost towns. yep! 
30. I've learned GOD IS FAITHFUL.
31. I learned HOSPITALITY is the HEARTBEAT of our home.
32. I love having an autoimmune disease because it is a constant reminder that I live in HIS strength alone! 
33. I love speaking to groups of women and sharing the LOVE of JESUS with them.
34. I learned relationships take work and time and love...lots of love!
35. I learned that losing your health can be devastating and fortifying all at the same time.
36. I've learned GOD CONVICTS in the best possible ways.
37. I've learned FAMILY is IMPORTANT! 
38. I've learned unconditional love is as much a blessing to give as it is to receive.
39. I've learned you can put a city girl on a farm and she will LOVE it!
40. I love DOGS - been unreasonably fearful of them since I was five and had a german shepherd come after me - but since we took on service dog training - through Lilith, I have come to love animals and LOVE our two sweet dogs, Sadie and Ryder you are AMAZING! 
41. I learned some things never change...I STILL LOVE CHOCOLATE!
42. I love my silver gray hair! 
43. I learned about SHEMA - the great commandment - to Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and to Love your neighbor as yourself. And with SHEMA you remind yourself of this commandment three times a day - a great practice (you should try it sometime! :)
44. I've learned I love to write and that I am afraid to write a book because I fear rejection and I need to get over myself.
45. I've learned healing takes time.
46. I've learned to love fiercely because our days are numbered.
47. I've learned that you lose a bit of inhibition as you age and say things you never thought you would...ever.
48. I love taking my family with me wherever I go whenever possible. (Loved doing that when they were young. Love it still!)
49. I've learned a good marriage takes intentionality and perseverance and is SO WORTH IT!
50. I've learned people still love you even if you're OLD. hehe! 

WHY WE CHOSE TO BRING IN A MODULAR HOME

After months and months...no wait - after YEARS and YEARS of planning and plotting and dreaming and devising, we had to make a choice...do we "stick build" or bring in a modular home? We determined which modular company we would buy from and then we researched stick built and ICF houses. What we found out for our area was this...when you live in the middle-of-nowhere and you contact a construction company to build your house from scratch, you have to cover the cost of housing and anticipate trip or mileage charges added in to the cost and the list went on. It was rather depressing because we had dreamt of building an ICF home and thought it would weather our North Dakota plains living and the buffeting wind well. But it wasn't a feasible option.

Given the fact we were developing our land and building a house on it - we would have had to come up with upwards of $600,000 to build a basic 1500 square foot home - most likely without a basement. More than half a million for a house on the prairie whose resale potential is extremely limited. More than likely we hope and pray one of our children will choose to settle here after we are gone. 

Then we did some indepth research on modulars vs manufactured and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt we would go with the modular build. We could specify our foundational structure - and went with a floor tress system. I am glad we chose that - because other foundational systems are creaky - this one is as solid as stickbuilt.

We also went with our broker Kopper Creek Homes because I had found a kindred spirit amongst the sales people in this industry. Cayttie was able to dream right along with me and totally understood my desire for a rustic, industrial, chic farmhouse. It was an odd combination of modern and rustic. She nailed it! 

My AMAZING kitchen!

We chose modular because of the timing - we wanted to get things rolling as soon as possible and with North Dakota winters - building on site had about a 4 month window. We didn't anticipate such a mild winter - but it has proven beneficial as we continue to forge up the seams of our home. Something a typical North Dakota winter would not have allowed.

We chose modular because we wanted to be able to customize our home - just as we would have with a stickbuilt. And customize we did - from the kitchen, to the pantry, to the piano room and the masterbath - our home is just that OUR HOME! 

Here's a shot of them setting our modular on 

our walkout basement.

There are some cosmetic issues that are being dealt with - nothing is perfect...but there was still that potential had we done a stickbuilt home. To say that we couldn't be happier with our amazing modular home is an understatement. This place is simply GORGEOUS and MORE than I could have hoped for. We are loving life on the farm and even though my poor husband is working himself into exhaustion trying to be the general contractor and put the finishing touches on our home, we are love-love-loving it! 

SO, if you live in the middle of nowhere, you may want to look into modular over building from the ground up - it's not for everybody, but we are definintely content! 

3 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU START TO BUILD A HOUSE

We have been through the ringer with this house building thing. We aren't even past the early stages and we are already experiencing some major pain in the home building arena.

When we started this process we were excited to finally see some movement towards our goal after about 2 1/2 years of planning. Or so we thought. What we found out is that we had been doing about 2 1/2 years of dreaming and had not touched on the planning yet. What we found out is that we were behind the ball on many things and ahead of the game in others. But what we found that hurt the most was that our dreamers, our wanters had taken over our bodies and we were no longer functioning within our budgetary guidelines. As a matter of fact, we were so far beyond them that we forgot what they were!

This being the case, I want to save some people some of the pain that we are currently experiencing. Here are three things you should do BEFORE you start to build a house.

1) KNOW YOUR BUDGET - one of my goals has always been to own my house and not have my house own me. This is fairly easy to accomplish when you rent, when you buy a house that's pre-owned - well, that's another story for another day, but suffice it to say - SET YOUR DOLLAR LIMIT and STAY WITHIN IT. Do NOT -- no really...DO NOT blow your budget!

2) RESEARCH YOUR BUILDER - we thought we'd done our research but what we had been doing was simply dreaming - when it came to understanding who the builder was, we were clueless. WHY? Because we went with a broker. We purchased a modular home built by the broker's company of choice. How do they choose - well, they sign on to sell certain builder's homes - in our case, they had three levels of builders - the pre-fab home style builders whose houses look like mobile homes, the middle market builder whose houses look great until you pull out the level and the magnifying glass, and of course there is their top of the line builder that only a select few can afford. In our case - we fell within the category of their middle market builder. What we didn't know were some of the key elements we wanted were sacrificed - not because they couldn't do it and do it well, but because we chose to compromise our budget and stretch some things thin while other items we went top of the line with.

Once you narrow down your builder - CHECK THEM OUT. Visit their factory, see how they do things. If we had known, we likely would have gone a different route, but we didn't. Don't get me wrong - we have a beautiful home - there were just a few things that looked a bit slapped together or weren't up to the standard we thought they would be - but they are all minor cosmetic issues we can manage ourselves. As far as structure and soundness - it is fantastic.

3) UNDERSTAND EXTENUATING COSTS - for us, we built from scratch - literally from the ground up. Undeveloped land that we had to pull power, cable, drill a well, excavate out of the side hill...SO - the house was reasonable and well within our budget - but when you added the development of the land, septic tank installation, excavation and cement work, cost of build out for the basement and garage and throw in a 500 sf mudroom - you have a recipe for going WAY.OVER.BUDGET. We have tried to maintain - but we have constantly been getting slapped with misquotes and whoopses. You need to get your quotes in advance - lock the contractor in and incorporate those charges into your budget. This must be included in the cost of building your home so that you aren't thrown a huge curveball!

We are still in the process of building our home. Our appraisal is now our nemesis. There were some items added to the appraisal in order to obtain the value of the home that now have to be completed in order to convert our construction loan to a mortgage - but I can honestly say - what I am seeing - when we finish our house (top to bottom) and all is complete, THIS HOUSE - this amazing piece of exquisite real estate will be worth double that appraisal value - guaranteed! Now, here's hoping we live long enough to see it completed! lol! My poor husband has poured his heart and soul into this place! Hours upon hours of work to get this home built! I will say this...it is already breathtaking! I never dreamt of living in a home as grande as our farmhouse on the prairie! In that respect - God is good and we are very happy! I don't mean for the points above to sound negative but they are IMPORTANT considerations - so please, if you're building, keep these three things in mind BEFOREHAND!

This story is our story - it doesn't reflect every situation or every person's building experience - so please know that I am sharing from our personal experience and nothing more.

STICKER SHOCK - when the home of your dreams becomes a nightmare

I am EXHAUSTED!
More than that I am so over this house thing! Not really, but I would love to be.

A week ago today we found out that the BUILDER (not our broker/designer Kopper Creek) but the builder - Magnolia Homes - had to file bankruptcy. Because Kopper Creek holds to the practices of Colorado real estate, our money was in an escrow account waiting to be issued to Magnolia Homes once they got the full house plans to them. But that never happened. Through a series of God-ordained events, money never changed hands and all is well with the Johnsons. Well...sort of.

I believe God has a reason for everything. Things don't happen by chance, they're ordained of a loving God. SO...with that in mind, I've been pondering, "Why God?" And in His silence we have been way too active. Actively trying to find another builder. Actively cutting this and that and the other to make the house more affordable Actively trying to be good stewards but totally forgetting to seek the Provider's face. We scrambled. We traveled. We had meeting after meeting. And with each meeting a little more of me seemed to die. Because with each meeting prices increased. With each meeting the timeframe we desired came and went. Without a decision last week - our last hopes of having a home before our daughter's wedding were crushed

So WHY would God allow this to happen?

You would think that we would have diligently pursued this question for a clear answer. Maybe we figured God couldn't handle it? Maybe we figured we had to take matters into our own hands to get this thing done because obviously it didn't happen the first time around.

However, through all the struggles, the pain, the terror (yes, I've been that emotional about this whole thing) we left the out the Key component. So when the day came for our decision (that was yesterday) and we had nothing from the housing company, we figured we needed to dig deep and see what was going on...WITH US and WITH GOD.

That's when it hit me personally that we were willing to sacrifice a lot in our later years in life (yes, I am acknowledging I'm getting old!) We were willing to pour body, soul and spirit into this house that would cause us to have to work for another 30 years. I am going to be 50 next year. I DO NOT PLAN TO WORK UNTIL I AM 80. Lord willing, I will retire in my 60's and spend the rest of my days on this earth loving on our grandchildren and serving the Lord fully and completely with my husband alongside!

Since our decision-making didn't have to happen yesterday, I got up early to spend some time with the Lord and ask Him what was going on. I couldn't find my Bible bag...anywhere in the house. I was not going to let that stop me...I grabbed my NASB off the shelf and flipped it open and started reading. I ended up in 1 Chronicles. I was surprised but figured I would see what God had for me. There in the passage that I'd highlighted years back were words that now have a whole new meaning. David was wanting to build a temple because the arc of the covenant had traveled with the people for many years and David and the people had settled down and built permanent structures, yet the arc remained in a tent. The prophet Nathan had to tell David NOT to build the house for the Lord. But God promised that David's people would go on to be great and that He would watch over them and that one of the lineage of David would find God's favor and build the house of the Lord. I know that there's something to be said for taking things out of context, but really - the Lord led me to a passage about building a "house" and this verse struck me...

For you, O my God, have revealed to your servant that you will build for him a house; therefore your servant has found courage to pray before you. 1 Chronicles 17:25

That's when it hit me. I have not had the COURAGE to PRAY before God other than to ask His blessings on OUR project. This project that has gone from the home of our dreams to a total nightmare. It was time to do some REAL soul searching, some REAL praying, some REAL listening.

So, I put down my Bible, set aside my journal and I did just that. I went before the Lord and prayed. And my heart felt His gentle prodding and the words of my wise brother came back to me about a smaller dwelling place, and my hearts desire for a place of refuge and peace resurfaced, a home where Daryl and I could be happy and a house that would not bankrupt us -- the irony! OH the IRONY!

As I take a closer look at the house plans, the foundation work, the shop, the cement work, the well, the septic, the basement, the interior perks, the size...THE SIZE of the undertaking - I am stunned by the realization that we almost moved forward with this project. God, in his infinite mercy and wisdom, has allowed us to take some time, analyze everything, consider what we truly need and remember that the house is just for the two of us, not our children who are all grown; not our parents - even though we would love to house them and if the time came and that were necessary we would make the adjustments needed. NO, this house simply needs to hold two people. It doesn't require a lot of square footage. We've lived in homes with four children where we had an average of 100 square foot per person and made it work!

This place and its beauty should be considered 

and whatever we can do to recreate a homestead here, 

we need to do it thoughtfully.

I think the hardest part about letting this place go is the hours we put into it, pouring over the plans, tweaking things to make them work for us, dreaming, believing that this was the PERFECT house and may it is, just more than likely not for us. So I'm laying my house before the Lord. I am giving it over to Him. I am trusting and praying He will allow Daryl and I to find agreement in the home we are to build. That we would not shy away from the work required to start from scratch, if that is what we need to do in order to honor God.

Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised! The Lord made the heavens. Splendor and glory are before Him,     strength and joy are in His place.  

 1 Chronicles 16:25-26