JEALOUS MUCH?

Sometimes I flippantly say things often enough they begin to shore themselves up within my heart creating negative thought patterns and before I realize it - sin has crept into my life in the form of seemingly innocent statements.  The more time I spend with the Lord the more I see how these things manifest themselves in my life and how I need to clean house every-so-often. Just as my Catholic upbringing required the sacrament of reconciliation - so to, in my daily walk with the Lord - there is that need to reflect and confess on the sin that creeps into my life.

Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but JEALOUSY is even MORE DANGEROUS! Proverbs 27:4

JEALOUSY...ENVY...
both lead to discontentment. And both had crept into my heart and were making a comfy home of it.

The sad part about jealousy and envy is the fact that they can lead us to mentally slaughter the source. I have recently been convicted of this sin in my life. I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed as I do way too often throughout the day. I came across one of the usual posts of a friend on a beach vacation enjoying their time and photo journaling their fun. My comment on their post was one word, "jealous." Though I thought I was being playful, the Lord pricked my heart and caused me to pause and reflect.

As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person. Proverbs 27:19

I was flooded with conviction as my heart's sinful state was revealed. I thought I was just being silly when in all actuality I was exactly as the word stated...JEALOUS!

I was also dealing with ENVY. 

Just as Death and Destruction are never satisfied, so human desire is never satisfied. Psalm 27:20

These were not traits I wanted harbored in my heart. I much preferred being a light - someone who exhibits love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. Yeah - I want to be like that...NOT jealous and envious. 

The state of jealousy and envy in my heart were causing me to question God's goodness towards me. Who am I to downplay another person's good fortune by telling them I'm "JEALOUS" and by doing that claim God wasn't being good to me? 

I have been thoroughly chastised in every good way! I am so thankful that God takes the time to reveal the dark corners of my heart where sin is lurking and by his grace and mercy clear it out. 

We all have good fortune in our life and we were all made for the purpose of loving God and loving his people. Jealousy and envy have no place in that. 

Before I logged out of Facebook I still commented on my friend's post saying, "I am so happy for you!" My heart was lighter, my smile was genuine and my day was brighter! 

REFLECTIONS - My Amazing 48th Year of Life

As the clock ticks down to my last moments of my 48th year of life I have been reflecting on the past year. It has been a crazy year - one of huge transitions, milestone moments, leaping into unknown territory and making memories. It was a year with moments of frightful disillusionment, turmoil and stress. It was a year of branching out - making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, jumping into ministry opportunities and business opportunities. I have learned so much this year alone - my cup overflows with the goodness (and some of the not so good that has shaped me and molded me.)

ONE OF THE GREATEST BLESSINGS FOR MY 48th year of life was the addition of the first grandson to the family. Andrew - your first few months of life were precarious. But through your trial and our pain we were drawn closer as a family and drawn closer to God. There were literally hundreds of people all over the world praying for you little guy and you came through and now you're thriving! What a special gift you are precious boy! This Nonna loved the opportunity to spend extra time with all of her grand babies. Spending time with Hannah-bear and Abby-tabby and Beth and Brandon were moments I will treasure forever. I wish we lived closer and had more time to be with them - but cherish every chance we have to be together.

Another major transition that came into our lives were these added family members...

The #puppychronicle stars! Ridley the smart and talented border collie (Jon & Kenzi's baby) and her faithful side-kick Sadie (mine and Daryl's) the uniquely gorgeous husky eyed, german shepherd sized, blue heeler coated, retriever mix (aka mutt). The two are inseparable growing up together - we spent many cold afternoons together in the kitchen - them napping while I worked. They have incredible personalities and character and they are both so lovable. I struggled with dogs and suddenly there were two in our lives. It was definitely a graced-filled learning curve for me. BUT well worth every moment, every nip, scratch and kiss. They have come into their own a little more and could probably use a bit of intensive training - but they are the sweetest pair I know. And though they challenge us by occasionally running off - we are still crazy enough to think we need to add one more sibling to the mix so we are taking in Sadie's brother from a later litter - enter Ryder...

This chunk o' love will be joining the family in September! Cannot wait!!!!

In addition to all these moments here is a list of interesting moments - because the blessings are so numerous for this year - I just HAVE to share!!!

1. Having Josh Duhamel photo bomb our family photo shoot. YES INDEED! lol

2. Celebrating 25 amazing years of marriage to my best friend, the most amazing father, the hardest working man I know and the love of my life. 

3. Having the privilege of being present when my 2nd oldest daughter got engaged to a very sweet guy!

4. Watching my baby girl grow up as she branched off on her own to go through an aesthetician program - that she aced and is now licensed in. 

5. Having Bailey-girl move back and choose ND over AZ. Not gonna lie - I love it!!

6. Spending Christmas with family in different places. It was so weird - yet we survived.

7. Praising God for his protection over Bailey when she was traveling back to ND. 

8. Discovering Underarmor long under garment hunting gear. TOASTY!!!

9. Seeing God's hand in my job situation and how He had been working out the transition before I even knew I was supposed to change jobs. 

10. Managing to get through my first full semester of college with passing grades. 

11. FaceTime with the grandchildren.

12. How God provided the house we were renting for Jon and Kenzi's future home. 

13. Beginning the process of buying a house to move out on the farm and having God protect our funds when the initial builder went bankrupt. 

14. Finding an incredible health and wellness program that has turned Daryl's life around - helping him lose 45 pounds and gain back balance, energy and good sleep. 

15. Making new friends through the new job and the new health and wellness opportunity.

16. Finding the game Cashflow. Life changing you should try it! 

17. Having Sara move home for the interim. So good having her here! 

18. Leading praise team occasionally since our other leader had a precious baby girl of her own! 

19. Having a health crash that scared the dickens out of me but led me to a local chiropractor who's done an amazing job with getting things worked out. 

20. Planning a wedding...watching wine bottle labels skillfully removed and glitter paint applied. (there's way more to the wedding than that but you can join us in September and see all the work that's gone into this event.)

21. Planning and pulling off a purity conference in another state with the help of my boss - Katie Vert  and my dear friend from back in the Wray, CO days - Sheila DiPippo! 

22. Building some deep and beautiful friendships with some of the ladies from my church family. Something I've longed for since moving to ND and now God's fulfilling that need.

23. Receiving a ministry opportunity with my church home that is literally the desire of my heart. I am so excited and equally terrified by this leadership position.

24. Hoping I am gracefully going gray. Deciding to quit dying my hair may seem trivial to some - but it's a pivotal moment in a woman's life. Seriously folks - this takes a lot of deep contemplation - until you realize the financial savings - then it's a no-brainer. 

25. WE ARE MOVING TO THE FARM - well the RANCH. 

This October 2015 we will officially be living at Buffalo Hills Ranch. WOOT WOOT!

Chickens, cows, buffalo and more to come next spring. 

In essence - I live a very incredibly charmed life. Through the trials and the storms - I have so much to be thankful for they far outweigh the discomforts of life. I can honestly say - I'm looking live out my final year in my forties with great gusto...tons of enthusiasm...and a stronger more intentional focus on my Savior. I long to deepen that relationship and have His grace, mercy and love flow freely through me into the lives of everyone I come in contact with! 

If you think of me - send up a prayer for my 49th year on this earth.

May it be filled with rejoicing and praise! 

Thank you dear friends!

GOD BLESS!

GOAL SETTING - Why I think EVERYBODY should have GOALS

I hadn't thought about GOALS much...for many years I didn't even realize how important they were. Then, one year I began to understand their value and the need - so I tried it out. I was a stay-at-home mom at the time. I wrote out my personal and spiritual goals for myself and my desires for my family.  Then I forgot about them. The crazy things was - at the end of the year...they always seemed to resurface and lo and behold - the majority were either completed, accomplished or darn close. 

I wasn't a huge believer in this until I went back to work and was "forced" to establish professional goals. That's where the rubber met the road. I had to think long and hard and figure out how to attain the goals I was setting for myself because I didn't want to fail at my job. That's where I figured out one thing...

I was amazed at this concept that great leaders don't set out to be a leader...THEY SET OUT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE and that's exactly what I wanted to do! I did well but was always frustrated because there were times I felt I couldn't measure up to someone's expectations no matter how hard I tried. That's when the idea of "gumption" began to develop within me. Yea - it's a bit of a hick word but it really describes my development in that area. NEVER QUIT became my motto - for whatever I was working on - whether it be home, work, ministry, you name it. I was DERAILED many times - but always got back on track as quick as I could. That diligence was blessed and built tons of character!

That is when I discovered how important planning was - a GOAL is just a GOAL if you don't give it feet. Breaking down a goal is vital to accomplishing them. But more than that - having the GOAL gave me focus!

We all have to live for something. We all need direction in life or we are just spinning our wheels going nowhere. I learned that I needed these goals to keep me on the right track.

Side note here...I love to dive into projects head on, wholeheartedly. I love to offer my gifts and talents when they're needed. My problem was I was diving in to so many different areas with no set goals or agenda. They were all awesome, fantastic causes but I stretched myself too thin and my family felt the pinch! AND the crazy thing was all those hours of work were not leading me in any certain direction. I was just treading water trying to stay afloat! That's when I began to realize that...

THIS WAS THE DIRECTION I WAS GOING. It wasn't pretty! All areas of my life were suffering and I started to feel like I was cheating on everyone. All of this chaos was causing so much stress on my physical body that it finally crashed - all activities ceased including being a wife and mother, working outside the home, ministry work, praise team, you name it. I was completely devoid of any strength or energy - all I could do was remind myself to breathe.

While I was bed-ridden and out of the rat race, I began to slowly evaluate where I was going with my life. What I found was I had goals - but not solid plan on how to get there. My plan for all intents and purposes was a solid plan leading to a breakdown and that was all. SO...I knew I had to change the plan. I didn't like where I had landed - but I can honestly say - I am THANKFUL that God stopped me in my tracks.

As I began to review my life and where it was going I began to see the discord that was being created because my husband and I were going different directions. It wasn't healthy and it was driving us apart not bringing us together. That's when I gave up on what I thought were my dreams and turned everything over to God. I began to dream WITH my husband and changed my focus and my plan. Again - the Goal never changed, but how I was attaining it did. This time I included my husband in my goals and dream making plans. It led us to places I never dreamt I would go - but I am loving the journey and making it hand-in-hand with my love! In this place - later in life - is where we discovered thankfully that...

 SO HONESTLY...EVERYBODY should have goals - you don't want to maneuver this life at random - everyone has an innate desire to accomplish great things! AND YOU CAN!

My next post will focus in on the nuts and bolts of goal setting...but until then - go ahead...

DEALING WITH INVISIBLE ILLNESS

I have an invisible illness. Actually I have a couple invisible illnesses.

The problem is when they act up we are never really sure which one it is. A week ago I landed in the ER because of a flare. I don't know if it was the Lyme's disease or if it was the fibromyalgia. All I know is that my left side of my body hurt...horribly.

When it comes to invisible illness, I don't really talk about it much. It's not that I want to ignore it, it's not that I don't want others to understand, it's more of the fact that it's simply part of my life. It's the part of my life that I don't always appreciate. It's the part of my life that I would love to be able to forget. But that's not how this works.



So when I have a flare, I try to be transparent and let people know that it's not a bed of roses over here. I try to be open and ask for prayer for strength. That strength could be literal, physical strength, because when I have a flare it usually zaps me of all strength. That strength is also emotional, mental, strength because when I have a flare and I am left with a body that doesn't want to function properly, I wrestle with those thoughts that often plague my weakened state of mind. Thoughts like I am worthless, I am a nuisance, I am a pain to those around me. Crazy thoughts, senseless thoughts, but honest things that cross the mind of one who feels like her body has betrayed her.

It takes diligence and mindfulness not to let an invisible illness define you, set your limitations and become the main preoccupation of your daily life. There are days where I think that I am never going to be normal again. Well...it's true. And I must accept that my life just isn't normal and that's okay. But to let it drag me down and leave me depressed (which it has done in the past) and leave me despondent (a place I've been in the past as well)...I just don't want to go there.

There's so much life to live still, regardless of how much pain you're in, regardless of how heavy your arms and legs feel, regardless of how fuzzy your brain may be functioning at the moment. When my eyes are on Him, I still have hope, joy and peace.

So I guess the best way I have found to deal with invisible illness is turning to the greatest balm I have found in the wake of each storm...seeking and finding rest for my soul in the Lord's gentle care. Granted, having family that understands, family that knows when they need to boss me around a bit to get me to do what I should be doing in order to heal from an episode is a huge blessing!!! I am one fortunate woman to have family that can tell when I've pushed beyond my limits and when I need to drop everything and let my body catch up with me.

It's not easy, I know this full well. But it's worth every anxious breath, every pain-filled moment of every incredibly blessed day! Maybe someday I will figure out how to share about this invisible illness stuff, but for now, I choose to share it with my Comforter.

And in case you're wondering how I'm doing...I'm better than I was a week ago. I'm still in a good deal of pain, I haven't recovered my coordination and I am dragging my body around these days, but I am functioning...and I'm still smiling! :)

DON'T BE LIKE A SENSELESS HORSE

"Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control." Psalm 32: 9

Of all the verses to jump off the page at me it had to be this one. But as I ponder my past few weeks and the crazy thoughts that were parading through my mind and the stress that was continually plaguing me to the point I wanted to step out of life for awhile and be somebody else, this actually makes sense. You see...I have been that senseless horse - or more likely the mule - that needed a bit and bridle to keep it under control. I have been struggling to the point I would break down crying uncontrollably for the smallest most ridiculous of reasons. I was the stubborn mule that wouldn't listen to reason and figured as long as I avoided any conversations that implied I was "out of control" then I could continue on my merry way and things would sort itself out in time.

Who was I kidding?

For about a week now, God has wanted me to read Psalm 32. Every time I opened my Bible it would open right to this Psalm. As I finally read through it this morning - I was convicted by the fact that I am back where I was just a couple years ago - I noted on the following passage that this was "ME 2013!"

"When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all the day long.

Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.

My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

FINALLY, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt.

I said to myself, 'I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.' 

And you forgave me!

All my guilt is gone!"

Psalm 32:3-5

SO I CONFESSED

The sin of worry - over so many things in my life - including the house, school, and my job to name a few. This lack of trust makes me take things into my own hands rather than allowing God to work out the details. It leaves me wasted emotionally and physically wiped out.

The sin of pride - too proud to admit I need help, too proud to say no to things I need to bow out of, too proud to let people know I'm hurting physically and emotionally.

The sin of gluttony - thinking I needed a bigger house than was necessary because it had to have everything...rather than choosing the practical size that was functional, affordable, and what we now consider acceptable. Though not perfect, it will be very comfortable and beautiful (and still probably a little bit too big...)

The sin of slothfulness - spending too much time on social media trying to escape my responsibilities.

The sin of ungratefulness - being ungrateful for...the mighty hand of God and how He has worked out even the minute details of our lives, the sweetness of all the work Jon and Kenzi are putting into their house that we are renting, the ability to work from home most of the time, the support of my youngest daughter Sara who puts up with all my ridiculousness all day long, the fact that Bailey is close enough that we get to see her almost weekly, how healthy little Andrew is after his trying first few months in this world...These and so many more items are things I should be thankful for, but some I've not even acknowledged before the loving God who provided them all.

The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. 

I will advise you and watch over you. 

Do not be like a senseless horse or mule 

that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control." 

Psalm 32:8-9

After I confessed I began to feel a little better. But then felt prompted to list out my STRESSORS. WHY I COULDN'T KEEP THINGS UNDER CONTROL...

• Being behind in school.
• Trying to figure out a house and all it entails.
• Building a new business.
• Packing up all my unnecessary things to make room for the kids.
• Massive fatigue that leaves me so tired I can't focus on writing, reading, etc.
• Overcommitted to a variety of upcoming events. (I need to prioritize but haven't.)
• Supplement changes that have caused me to feel like I may be losing my mind.
• Pain, constant stiffness and pain. 

From there I was led to note all my DISTRACTIONS & PROCRASTINATORS

WHAT I USE AS MY EXCUSE TO KEEP ME FROM DOING WHAT I NEED TO DO...

• Facebook (self explanatory)
• Instagram
• Dishes (great excuse not to focus on other things)
• Packing (another great excuse)
• Laundry (and yet another)
• Texting (thinking it can't wait)
• Pinterest (my escape)
• Blogging (another escape)
• Shuffling (from office to front room to kitchen leading to reorganizing every time I sit down to work on either school or office stuff...)

Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, 

that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment. 

For you are my hiding place; 

You protect me from trouble.

You surround me with songs of victory.

Many sorrows come to the wicked, 

but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord. 

Psalm 32:7 & 10

Finally, I determined the ACTION PLAN that is going to be necessary for me to be in the right frame of mind to begin trusting in Him. 

HOW CAN I TURN ALL THIS OVER TO GOD...

• Make my quiet time the priority it should have been all along.
• Limit my social media time to 15 minute increments - once each morning, noon and evening for a total of NO MORE THAN 45 minutes a day. 
• Sort out the house hold duties and ASK FOR HELP.
• Clear out the office and make that my PERMANENT work station (until we move).
• Map out my school - carving out as much time as possible to put towards my classes.
• Drop all extra curricular activities for the time being (for sanity sake).

These are all I came up with for the moment. I'm sure there's more to the gameplan, but this was a very healing, productive, reflective, life-infusing quiet time today! May you find peace and joy from it as well!

Oh what JOY for those whose disobedience is forgiven,

whose sin is put out of sight!

Yes, what JOY for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,

whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

Psalm 32:1-2

STICKER SHOCK - when the home of your dreams becomes a nightmare

I am EXHAUSTED!
More than that I am so over this house thing! Not really, but I would love to be.

A week ago today we found out that the BUILDER (not our broker/designer Kopper Creek) but the builder - Magnolia Homes - had to file bankruptcy. Because Kopper Creek holds to the practices of Colorado real estate, our money was in an escrow account waiting to be issued to Magnolia Homes once they got the full house plans to them. But that never happened. Through a series of God-ordained events, money never changed hands and all is well with the Johnsons. Well...sort of.

I believe God has a reason for everything. Things don't happen by chance, they're ordained of a loving God. SO...with that in mind, I've been pondering, "Why God?" And in His silence we have been way too active. Actively trying to find another builder. Actively cutting this and that and the other to make the house more affordable Actively trying to be good stewards but totally forgetting to seek the Provider's face. We scrambled. We traveled. We had meeting after meeting. And with each meeting a little more of me seemed to die. Because with each meeting prices increased. With each meeting the timeframe we desired came and went. Without a decision last week - our last hopes of having a home before our daughter's wedding were crushed

So WHY would God allow this to happen?

You would think that we would have diligently pursued this question for a clear answer. Maybe we figured God couldn't handle it? Maybe we figured we had to take matters into our own hands to get this thing done because obviously it didn't happen the first time around.

However, through all the struggles, the pain, the terror (yes, I've been that emotional about this whole thing) we left the out the Key component. So when the day came for our decision (that was yesterday) and we had nothing from the housing company, we figured we needed to dig deep and see what was going on...WITH US and WITH GOD.

That's when it hit me personally that we were willing to sacrifice a lot in our later years in life (yes, I am acknowledging I'm getting old!) We were willing to pour body, soul and spirit into this house that would cause us to have to work for another 30 years. I am going to be 50 next year. I DO NOT PLAN TO WORK UNTIL I AM 80. Lord willing, I will retire in my 60's and spend the rest of my days on this earth loving on our grandchildren and serving the Lord fully and completely with my husband alongside!

Since our decision-making didn't have to happen yesterday, I got up early to spend some time with the Lord and ask Him what was going on. I couldn't find my Bible bag...anywhere in the house. I was not going to let that stop me...I grabbed my NASB off the shelf and flipped it open and started reading. I ended up in 1 Chronicles. I was surprised but figured I would see what God had for me. There in the passage that I'd highlighted years back were words that now have a whole new meaning. David was wanting to build a temple because the arc of the covenant had traveled with the people for many years and David and the people had settled down and built permanent structures, yet the arc remained in a tent. The prophet Nathan had to tell David NOT to build the house for the Lord. But God promised that David's people would go on to be great and that He would watch over them and that one of the lineage of David would find God's favor and build the house of the Lord. I know that there's something to be said for taking things out of context, but really - the Lord led me to a passage about building a "house" and this verse struck me...

For you, O my God, have revealed to your servant that you will build for him a house; therefore your servant has found courage to pray before you. 1 Chronicles 17:25

That's when it hit me. I have not had the COURAGE to PRAY before God other than to ask His blessings on OUR project. This project that has gone from the home of our dreams to a total nightmare. It was time to do some REAL soul searching, some REAL praying, some REAL listening.

So, I put down my Bible, set aside my journal and I did just that. I went before the Lord and prayed. And my heart felt His gentle prodding and the words of my wise brother came back to me about a smaller dwelling place, and my hearts desire for a place of refuge and peace resurfaced, a home where Daryl and I could be happy and a house that would not bankrupt us -- the irony! OH the IRONY!

As I take a closer look at the house plans, the foundation work, the shop, the cement work, the well, the septic, the basement, the interior perks, the size...THE SIZE of the undertaking - I am stunned by the realization that we almost moved forward with this project. God, in his infinite mercy and wisdom, has allowed us to take some time, analyze everything, consider what we truly need and remember that the house is just for the two of us, not our children who are all grown; not our parents - even though we would love to house them and if the time came and that were necessary we would make the adjustments needed. NO, this house simply needs to hold two people. It doesn't require a lot of square footage. We've lived in homes with four children where we had an average of 100 square foot per person and made it work!

This place and its beauty should be considered 

and whatever we can do to recreate a homestead here, 

we need to do it thoughtfully.

I think the hardest part about letting this place go is the hours we put into it, pouring over the plans, tweaking things to make them work for us, dreaming, believing that this was the PERFECT house and may it is, just more than likely not for us. So I'm laying my house before the Lord. I am giving it over to Him. I am trusting and praying He will allow Daryl and I to find agreement in the home we are to build. That we would not shy away from the work required to start from scratch, if that is what we need to do in order to honor God.

Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised! The Lord made the heavens. Splendor and glory are before Him,     strength and joy are in His place.  

 1 Chronicles 16:25-26

FIVE STEPS TO AFFAIR PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE - from Work Place Romance

I was a stay at home mom for 8 years when I returned to the workplace. I was fortunate to return to a solid Christian environment where, for the most part, people respected boundaries and encouraged one another on to living in ways that honored God. There were never any inappropriate innuendoes exchanged among male co-workers and I honestly never had to keep my guard up. That was pretty much life in what we called "the bubble". Reality set in when we moved and the bubble was burst. Not only were we challenged by "coarse jesting" and foul language (seriously every four letter word in the book and some I never knew existed) but we, my daughters and I, were subjected to the uncanny world of men in the bakken. A world where men out numbered the women and were living like they were one big fraternity! Frat parties every night. Wild shenanigans going on weekly. Why wait for the weekend when you can party now!

Being a bit older, I have always viewed my positions with various companies in the bakken as more of a "den mother" type of job. Although my first boss was the same age as my husband, he looked and acted more like he was 20. I was often irritated by the men we employed and their blatant oogling of the women in our office (who just so happened to be my daughters.) It was during this initial job that I realized the need to develop my position in the area of professionalism, workplace boundaries, etc. It started initially with having to create a no-profanity zone. YEP! Some steps to affair proofing your marriage in the workplace can be simply put...

NO CUSSING

NO FLIRTING

NO BASHING

NO TEXTING

NO BOUNDARY CROSSING

1) NO CUSSING - WATCH YOUR WORDS.

Not only did I establish a no-profanity zone. I watched how I spoke with those around me. Words have a profound impact and will determine whether the other person will respect you and your position or lump you in as "one of the guys." In a place where cursing flows like a river - it's almost expected, however, it's refreshing when someone can hold a conversation where every other word doesn't start with F. I found that one person can set that tone in an office. There were many occasions where one guy would slip and four would apologize to me for it. It's much like the difference between a woman and a lady. I much prefer being treated LIKE A LADY. 

2) NO FLIRTING - WATCH YOUR INNUENDO.

Body language, actions, eye contact...all these send messages. You can be confusing when you are too playful. What you may dub as teasing, may be misconstrued by others and you really need to watch that. There are ways to joke and tease but it should never be at the expense of another person's reputation or integrity. It should always be kept on a professional level, not personal. When you cross the personal boundaries you may be interpreted as giving a green light. Guys aren't always on the prowl but conquest is high in their manly genes - so when you flirt, you are opening up a quest for the guy to simply see how far he can get with this verbal jousting. If there's any chemistry at all SHUT IT DOWN!

3) NO BASHING - WATCH YOUR RESPECTFULNESS.

Bashing comes in many forms - whether it's bashing co-workers, bosses or spouses, it should never happen. It starts with how you speak about your husband and can have a huge impact on how the guys around you respond. If you speak respectfully of your husband, they will respect you AND your marriage in return. Men desire respect and a woman who respects her husband seems rare at times. Don't join in on the office gossip and bash your employer or other employees - this is blatantly unprofessional! More than that, don't air your dirty laundry or discontent at home, you are opening yourself up for more than you bargain for and what you may get will only be heartache and pain. There are guys out there who are more than willing to make you feel special and lure you in, but they aren't there for the long haul - they are there once again for the quest. Once they have you, they typically dump you and leave you holding the shattered pieces of your broken heart and your broken marriage. Rather than air your disgruntled-ness PRAY ABOUT IT.

4) NO TEXTING - WATCH YOUR AFTER HOURS INTERACTIONS

Texting is becoming more commonplace at work. It's something that facilitates communication - or does it? Sometimes a text may be misconstrued and you must really watch what you say and how personal you get with them. There's less of a filter when texting so we are less inhibited by the constraints of the office. I've been on the receiving end of some declarations of great interest in a more intimate relationship via text. My responses were repetitive declarations of how happily married and unavailable I am. Along with that I shared these texts with my husband so that he knew there was nothing going on and never doubted my faithfulness to him. Once again, if texting goes anything beyond professionalism SHUT IT DOWN - switch to email only and keep it business oriented.

5) NO BOUNDARY CROSSING - WATCH YOUR PERSONAL SPACE

When I switched jobs and found myself the only woman working for a trucking company of 65 drivers, I had to up my game. I had to carry myself a certain way and prove that I took my job seriously and wasn't there for any sort of hook-up. I established boundaries early on. When one of the guys wanted to speak with me I made sure that there was always a desk between us. When we were at the occasional office social I still maintained space. I was set apart but not aloof. I hope this makes sense. I had to establish the boundaries to protect the integrity of my job and my marriage. If touch was ever involved it was a solid handshake. I never put a hand on someone's shoulder or arm. If someone tutored me at my computer, I would move out of my chair, let them have it, then stand behind them and observe - I never had them lean over me. Hugs when exchanged (this was rare) would be side hugs, never full on frontal hugs. And if we had to travel in a vehicle I always tried to have a third party with, never just myself and another man. If I did end up in that situation, I would usually call my husband and chat for a minute or two and let him know what was up. I live in a small town - gossip flows as abundantly as the four letter words here - it takes dedication and discernment to REMAIN ABOVE REPROACH. 

When spring hit at the trucking company there was a new issue that arose. I was no longer encumbered with lots of sweaters and long underwear (yes I wore this every day!) As I began to shed the layers for lighter clothing it felt like my office door became a revolving door. I am not saying I'm a knock out by any means, but I am saying that what figure I have was showing a little more and it seemed like all of a sudden they remembered I was female?? Anyway, as guys seemed to make up reasons to come sit and chat with me, I began to feel uncomfortable enough that I switched up my office, transforming it into a Johnson family monument. I had pictures hanging everywhere of my husband and I together with our family and grandchildren shots galore. THEN I began scrutinizing my clothing. I enjoy looking professional and dressing well, but as I was attaining unwanted attention, I figured I was doing something wrong. So, rather than dress "cute", I chose to impose a work place uniform look for myself. I began wearing company logo wear - polo shirts, button downs and zip up jackets. It was a good reminder for myself and others that I was a professional, there to do my job. I suppose this was a sixth point but didn't know how to label it. :)

Your greatest armor in the workplace is GOD. Making the time to renew your mind daily, to read the Word and sharpen your sword can prepare you for battle. I'm not saying all workplaces are a battlefield - life really is our battlefield, but keeping your guard up will help maintain integrity, purity and respect, all of which are important in any setting. These boundaries not only apply at work, but at church and in your circle of friends. 

For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. 

He is a shield to those who walk in integrity.

He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him.

Psalm 2:6-8